Just a Bit of Old Bread...

You'd be amazed what you can do with a bit of old bread... I mean, for one thing, the other one's entire staff practically live on bits of old bread. Well, that's when they can find any. I'm not saying that the other one is "tight" (you could bounce a quarter off of her), but there isn't any room for her staff to have luxuries in her budget. Ok... that isn't quite right. The look she is throwing my way is quite damaging and I fear that there may be legal reprisals if I continue in this vein... so, let's get back to the bread shall we? Yes? Wonderful idea.

Ok... the bread. It happens from time to time that I get over enthusiastic about buying bread. Or to put it another way, I over-estimate our households ability to consume high volumes of carbs. And if you know me, you'll know that carbs and I are on really good terms, so this is difficult to do! However, it does happen that sometimes half a loaf will find that it has been unceremoniously placed in a bag on the bin for any hungry passerby to help themselves to. It must be a rather peculiar feeling to find yourself taken home by a young lady who so clearly loves bread, only to find that when the shiny "new bread" feeling has worn off, you are callously dumped and replaced! In fairness though, I try not to do this too often any more - the feeling of guilt and waste was getting to me - but there are also times when the bread will cower at the back of the bread bin, behind the "new bread", until there is enough penicillin to treat a small village. I hate that. It goes a peculiar colour and slithers out eventually like Jabba the Hutt, intent on kitchen supremacy! No. It is far better for the bread to go out the door and be used by someone who needs it.

This week however, the bread tried a new tactic on me... and to great success. It was a victory of strategic timing and a lucky break in the weather. In other words, this loaf missed bin day and today it was raining! So. There I was with just over half a loaf of sliced bread in the bread bin and a full (soft, fresh) loaf on the counter. What was I to do? And then inspiration struck. Colder, rainy weather... stale bread... comfort food... There was only really one thing for it. Bread & Butter Pudding :-)

At this point, I have to say that Miss Twinset is not a fan of carbs. Unless she can suck them through a straw and they're likely to cause a tremendous amount of intoxication. However, she's terribly intrigued by the idea of a dessert made out of nothing more than bread, butter, milk, eggs, sugar and fruit. I love simple things in the kitchen. I must do... after all, I kept them two around don't I? Hee hee. Ok, so as you can see, it's a simple collection of ingredients. 12 slices of bread, 100g of fruit, 60g of brown sugar, 3 eggs, 500ml of milk, 5ml of vanilla essence, a 'sprinkling' of nutmeg and enough butter to spread on the 12 slices of bread. Most of these really are store cupboard ingredients (refer back if you're lost), so this is something you can throw together when the stale bread presents itself. Now... I know some of you may be wondering about "product placement" in the picture. I can assure you that I do not receive any monetary consideration for the products that I use. Would that I did! It would certainly make life a bit easier (and by easier, I mean cheaper of course). That butter product for example is rather pricey and I have often wondered if it wouldn't be cheaper to keep a cow and make my own! Of course, the manure could be a problem... still.... :-)

Ok, so you start by cutting the crusts off of the bread and then you butter them. As you can see, I am innovative (lazy) when it comes to buttering the bread and I melted some butter in the microwave and used a brush... It was certainly quicker than painstakingly buttering each slice the old fashioned way! Once they're buttered (the bread, not the kitchen gnomes), slice each slice into 4 triangles and arrange them into a dish in a pattern of your choice. As you can see, I've gone for very much the traditional "pyramids of Egypt" design, but it works for me. Sometimes I'm not that decorative... after all, once you've dished it, no-one knows if you spent 10 minutes or 1 putting it together. For you though... I put in the time! Thanks. I knew you'd appreciate it.

Now, once your bread is resting in the dish and you've added the fruit between the layers, break the eggs into a bowl and whisk them. It's only right to thank the stunt hand for stepping in again. There's no shot as good as a genuine "eggs being beaten" shot. Even if I did have to calm Miss Twinset down when she threatened to report me for abuse. The other one was quite intrigued by what came out of the egg shell and how it changed... the best part though was watching her fall off her stool when I told her where the eggs came from! She didn't spill a drop of her martini though. Totally fascinating. I'll have to try to video it sometime! At any rate, once your eggs are beaten, add the milk and beat and then add the vanilla essence. As you can see, the milk and vanilla turns the liquid pale and it smells yummy... don't taste it though. No really. Don't. Don't taste the vanilla essence either. No matter how good it smells. I'm not kidding. Oh well - you'll only make that mistake once (I know).

After the vanilla, you need to add the sugar and beat the mixture until the sugar has dissolved. This is about the only really hard labour part of the recipe and even then, you could do it really slowly... it would just take. a. really. long. time. So, for arguments sake, let's assume that you did it quickly so that we can move on. Agreed? Good! Now pour the milk and egg mix over the bread and fruit and then sprinkle a little ground nutmeg on top. Garnish with a bit of extra brown sugar and then leave the dish to "rest" for about 20 - 30 min. This is so that the bread can soak up the mix. Or, for the other one, it was the time in which she mixed herself a fresh jug of sangria. It's not a martini, so at least it was something new... and I made her use that bottle of white that I was meaning to cook with and hadn't got around to using yet. It tastes a bit odd, but she's so soused most of the time anyway, that I'm not sure she even noticed. Waste not. Want not.

When the dish has rested enough - and you've scooped the semi-conscious form of Miss Twinset off of the floor - put the dish into an oven pre-heated to 180 deg Celsius. Bake it for about an hour until the 'custard' has cooked and the top is golden brown. Remove from the oven, carefully, with oven gloves, and place on a board to cool. If you're planning to eat it straight away, it's delicious with cream, custard or ice-cream, but in this case... I'm going to save it for tomorrow and take it to my Mom. It's a favourite of hers and I didn't tell her that I was making it. Mostly to surprise her but also in case I didn't get around to doing it :-) Hey... I'm honest!

Now... tomorrow is for making marmalade and there may be another surprise... who knows!?

So... until the next time :-)