Let's Start At The Very Beginning...

.... a very good place to start!

A suggestion was made. A question was asked. A plot hole was discovered. I assumed that you all knew what a kitchen was :-) Silly me.

It has been brought to my attention that some people wouldn't know one end of the kitchen from the other... in fact, some people would be hard pressed to find it in their homes. No... I'm not kidding. No... I don't know these people personally. Please... you cooked in a twinset and pearls. You're in no position to judge! Now, back to the business at hand. Finding the kitchen. Ok, you already know where your bedroom is and you're well acquainted with the bathroom (especially the mirror), even the lounge and dining room are familiar. It's that "other" room that's causing you confusion. No, your house didn't come with an extra 1/2 bathroom that comprised loads of toiletry storage, cold storage for your nail polish (yes, it lasts longer in the fridge. No idea) and only 1 sink. This room with the odd appliances and no mirrors - well, usually - is actually the kitchen.

Now, remember, this is where food is prepared. Not just unpacked, unwrapped, pierced, microwaved, sliced or stored. Ok, so you figured that much at some point or maybe it was your husband or housekeeper. Oi... you... stop laughing. Not all women cook for themselves. That's part of why we're doing this :-) Now... you need to go into that room and get yourself orientated in the space. That odd square thing ... the one with the glass window in the front? Yes, the one with the bongo drum design on top. That is the stove. Yes... the thing you use for cooking. The bongo drums? They're the plates that you cook on. I know that plates are what you eat off of, but stove's have plates too. No I don't know why... google it. ANYWAY. If you open the door on the front, you'll discover a space inside. That part is the oven. You use this area for baking or roasting amongst other things. Sigh. What do you mean "how"? It heats up when you switch it on.

Ok, now that you've found the stove, let's see what else we have in here. Ok... that large rectangular appliance. Yes - the one with the two doors. If you open that one, you'll see that a light goes on. What. Are. You. Doing? Why is your eye up to the crack in the door? No, the light is not on when the door is closed. It's not magic, it's a switch. Stop playing with the door and pay attention. You can go back to that later. Yes, I promise. That appliance is the fridge. It's where you would keep anything that you want cold or to last longer. Like milk. No, not ice-cream. That would be in the other part of the appliance. No, there isn't usually a light bulb in that part. It's the freezer. No - the Arnold Schwarzenegger character in the Batman movie is called Mr Freeze - not the same thing at all. As I was saying... this is where you would keep things like ice-cream, frozen vegetables and - well, yes - ice.

Now... we've covered two of the most important appliances in your kitchen experience. Now do me a favour and look around some more... is there a smaller rectangular appliance with a glass door? Are there buttons on the front? Perhaps a picture of a chicken with a time next to it? No matter, this is a microwave. It can be used to defrost food, heat food back up, cook food, make popcorn, melt better and many more things.... It's a versatile appliance, but not to be used as a food storage unit! How does it work? Well... it's.... umm... you see.... aaaa.... oh sod it! Google it. No, I don't need to know "how" it works in order to use it. Yes, that means you don't need to know either. Why're you dancing around the room now? (Oh heavens. They've re-discovered the fridge light *slap of hand on forehead*)

Alright, there is one more thing we need to cover today.... the sink. Yes, that would be the thing that looks like the bathroom basin, but is actually more like the Cinderella of ablution facilities. It's not usually fancy, but it's totally functional! This is where you rinse vegetables, drain tins and wash dishes. Well, of course they'll need to be washed after they've been used. No, you can't just replace them with new ones. No. Not even if you can afford it. Sigh :-) Yes, I know there are "things" in the cupboards, but I think we've covered enough for now. We can cover utensils later.

So now that you've discovered the kitchen, go back and read from blog 1 and catch up with me and twinset over here...

Until next time!