So it's been a busy week and I haven't had a chance to be back here to chat and I come back to find that you've not only opened the cupboards, but you've decided that the pots make good headgear... No, no-one wears pots as hats. The Faraway Tree is a fairytale and a literary character doesn't count! Ok. Now that miss twinset has finished snorting into her martini glass, if I could have your attention? By all means... take your time. I have all evening. Ready?
Right, now... that thing that you had on your head a moment ago is called a "pot". It's used to cook food in. Yes, you put the raw ingredients into the pot and then you put the pot on top of the stove, turn on the plates... sigh... (yes, the bongo drum things) and then you follow the instructions until the food is ready. Yes, we will cover cooking later. Twinset over there is ahead of you - and I don't just mean in martini's! Why are the pots different colours? Excellent question! You see, you often need different size pots depending on what you're planning to cook. For example, something like a stew may need a far bigger pot than making a sauce or just boiling some vegetables for dinner. That is why some of them are smaller in diameter and height. Um... that would be smaller across and up. The very tall pot you see in the back of that cupboard would be great for making stock (no, not the kind you trade) or for cooking pasta. Then there are various sizes until you get to that small gravy pot.
No, the flatter ones aren't pots. Those are pans. No. Their first names aren't Peter! For heaven's sake... where did we find you? They are usually used for frying things. Like bacon or onions or eggs. Basically, anything that can be fried. Yes, even bread. Plain or as French Toast. Don't panic, you don't need a Frenchman in order to make it... After all, you don't need a Frenchman to French kiss do you? Oh....... you only date Frenchmen for that very reason? 'nuff said. Back to the pans... You will find that there are a number of uses for them and they often have lids, just like the pots. This will help you to cook your food more efficiently and even quicker.
Now... we've covered that cupboard. If you open that one over there, you'll find that it has all the plates and bowls and things in it. You don't need any help with those? Well thank heavens for that! Hey, you with the shaker... pass me a martini. Ok, now that I've had something to wet my throat, let us move over to that cupboard over there. Open it up please. WHAT? Why are you screaming? There's nothing scary in there. I promise. Open the door again please. What scared you the most? Oh, that? It's a grater. No, it doesn't increase the size of your bank balance, so take your credit card out of it. It's for reducing food in size through the repetitive motion of moving food over those little blades. Like cheese or vegetables or onions. Not fingers. Fingers are bad! If you reach fingers... stop! What else was scary in there? The holey bowl? It's a colander. It's not an alien mind reading device, it's for straining food. Sigh. No, not putting food under strain, it's for removing the fluid from food by tipping the food into the colander and allowing the liquid to drain away. I'm sure you're familiar with the rest of the bowls and such? Yes, they are quite large. No, I'm not expecting giants 'round for cereal. They're for mixing food in or for backing or for serving. Exactly, just like the small bowls except bigger.
I'm not sure I'm up for covering utensils today. Twinset has passed out in the breakfast nook, but I think there may be 1 last martini in that shaker of yours. Why don't you go find something to do while I recover. Manicure? Great idea... you go off and do that and in the meantime, Twinset and I will get on with other kitchen relevant things.
Phew. Until next time...
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