It's All About the Gadgets...

... and I should know! You see, I'm a gadget freak... if it's quirky or fun or interesting or just a little bit Star Trek, there's a good chance that I'll love it :-) Of course, there are different categories of gadget... there are office gadgets (and I have a fair few), garden gadgets, general household gadgets and - of course - kitchen gadgets! Hold on a second while I throw something at the Other One.... *thwack*. She's sitting in the corner sniggering and muttering about "other" gadgets. Got her mind in the gutter! To give you an idea, she's slouched over drinking her martini's straight out of the shaker with a straw! I think that she's more than gotten into the holiday "spirit". Anyway - where was I?


Oh yes, gadgets. Well... as you all know, today is Christmas Day and as you can imagine, it's been a day of gifts and family, food and laughter and as I sit here, the cold meats & salad of lunch are still keeping me full and don't get me started on the trifle :-) Yum, but way too filling :-) So Christmas is always a great time in our home. NOT because of the gifts I receive (although that's pretty good too), but because I get to spoil the people I love. Even in a year when I'm financially a bit strapped. The Other One wouldn't know what that's like, but at least I know that Miss Twinset knows how to budget. Of course, as I mentioned before.... it's also a crazy busy baking time of year and I've spent the whole week baking Christmas cake. I kid you not... Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. It would've only been Tuesday and Wednesday, but Ruby had a bit of a laugh at my expense... I can laugh about it now, but it really wasn't terribly funny at the time. Miss Twinset has started to laugh so hard in anticipation of this story, that her champagne just came out her nose! Disgusting, but at least it wasn't eggnog ...


Ok, so what had happened was that Tuesday wasn't really my day. It was hot and humid and it had been a busy and irritable kinda day. Then to top it off, the outside door handle broke off of the drivers door of my car... Not my day. Then of course I started baking. Normally, this is a very relaxing activity for me and one I look forward to ... even when I don't really feel much like baking :-) For me, it's the calming effect of the measuring and mixing that makes a world of difference at the end of a long day. So, I set to work doing all the prep. I ran through all the ingredients and when all was prepared and the cake mix was ready to pour, I thought something looked a bit "odd", but I couldn't figure it out. I ran through the list of ingredients - twice! - and couldn't see anything I'd missed, so I spooned the mix into the dishes and popped them in the oven. Four (4) hours later, I opened the oven to discover the world's only fruit filled, slightly liquorice flavoured "toffee". The cakes had flopped and I was in such a state. How could this be?? The recipe is foolproof.... 24 hours later, when I baked round 2, I realised that although the recipe is foolproof... the chef is only human! As I said... Ruby was messing with me on Tuesday night.... You see I double checked the ingredients twice and never saw the word "eggs" at all. Yup... I never put the eggs in. Feel free to say "duh" in your loudest, most superior way. It still won't beat the Other One (who couldn't bake a brick) tormenting me all week about it. Naturally, the next two batches were perfect and my folks say the fruity liquorice toffee isn't that bad. Pity there's just under 3 kilo's of it (about 6 pounds).



So this morning, my folks woke up at 5:30 eager to get to their gifts, which was so much fun! Of course, I was keen to see what Santa had brought me too. Apart from an awesome book and CD which I'd asked for, I also got some really awesome - just for you and your kitchen - gifts! *picture high-pitched squeals of delight*. It started with a DVD on sugarcraft which is exactly what I was looking for as I really want to step up my decorating skills. That was followed by a book that is thicker and heavier than the average family bible... Kitchen by Nigella. I just skimmed through the book this morning, but I can already see that I'm going to love it!! Neither one of these was on my Christmas list and because I love surprises, they are perfect. Because I love things to do with my kitchen... they're splendiforous! I have to say, that Santa guy sure is paying attention to us good kids :-). If you've been paying attention so far - and not dwelling on the image of eggnog coming out of Miss Twinset's nose - you'll be wondering which part of Christmas involved gadgets. Don't worry, you haven't missed it... I haven't told you yet. You see, inside each person who loves to bake, there's a kid who would LOVE to have the gift I got today... and for this particular gift, I'm very grateful :-)



You see, I unwrapped a large - heavy - unassuming package and inside I found the most amazing kitchen gadget EVER! A Kenwood mixer! A large, beautiful, accessorised Kenwood mixer that is my newest member of the family. The Tipsy Tarts have already been warned that I will destroy ALL their booze (even the stock they thought I hadn't found, that they'd hidden in the Winter wood pile) and I think that it's a fairly good incentive for them to keep their paws off of my baby. She is the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time and not only because she is going to make my life so much better! I think this is the start of a long and faithful relationship. I promise to care for her... accessorise her and use her only according to instructions. I also promise to try new and exciting recipes and to feature her when I can in this blog. As you can see... she's quite a looker. With a 6+ litre bowl, there's not a lot to limit me here. I'm really looking forward to seeing what attachments I can get and to trying her out. I know that many of you will be shaking your heads at the gushing praise that I'm heaping on an appliance... but out there, I'm sure that there will be some of you that have experienced the same sense of "love at first sight" when you see something that you need... something that you want.... even if it's "just" an appliance.



My kitchen gadget collection includes all manner of things and some are tiny. I coveted a small whisk that can be used in a mug and didn't rest until I had it. I needed (couldn't live without) a citrus zester and then there was the micro grater that does everything. I have juicers, mixers, blenders, donut makers, sandwich toasters and a collection of knives that makes me very happy whenever I see them, but pride of place in my kitchen is going to be MY Kenwood (my precious) lol.



I'm going to love and leave you now as I hear my cherry brandy trifle calling me from the fridge.... but I hope that you've all had a fantabulous Christmas! Here's to many new kitchen adventures for me to share with you all in the years to come...


Until next time....

And.... We're back!

I know it's been a while since I blogged... and if you're a regular reader, you may be wondering why. Well... it all started when Miss Twinset upset Ruby. She sat there in her corner of the kitchen, waving her wine glass wildly, complaining about the fact that her favourite bottle opener had vanished and blaming Ruby without thought to the fact that the Other One had borrowed it the week before. She then proceeded to burn sage bundles and waft the smoke all around the kitchen in a "cleansing" ceremony... Naturally, this is one of the quickest ways to tick off a kitchen pixie... You may be wondering how this affected my ability to blog... well, to be honest... it didn't :-) It was rather distracting though! The Other One eventually had her housekeeper 'fess up to having "stolen" the bottle opener and a thimble of the good Sauvignon Blanc was left for Ruby to appease her, but in the meantime, I deemed it too dangerous to cook while Ruby was in a snit... who knows what damage could've been done.

My blogging silence is going to come to a halt though and if you think about it, you'll see why. After all, it's at this time of year that kitchen's all around the world start to work overtime, using the total energy production of a small country (or several for that matter) and producing more goodies than should ever be eaten by the average family in a year, let alone over the Festive Season! Naturally, mine is no different! You see, it's at times like these that in most homes Granny's trusty recipe book is dusted off and opened reverentially on the counter top where wives, mothers, daughters and daughters-in-law hunch over the "magical tome" trying to figure out what their husbands, sons and fathers are after when they reminisce about Christmases past. For like it or not, all men have dishes that they remember from their childhoods, without which a celebration like Christmas simply "isn't what it was" when their Mother did it. For us girls, it's the memories we have of endless baking, the house all full of the scent of all-spice and cinnamon or perhaps it's the shortcuts of local supermarket mince pies and tinned ham that we remember.

I know that for Miss Twinset it's the almost unattainable "Stepford Christmas" ideal that she has in her head and she has a special Twinset and matching apron (along with antique pearls) that she has put aside for the occasion. She invites family and friends and tries to colour co-ordinate everything... it may sound good, but I have to tell you, that it's a whole different story when you sit down to a green and white table where most of your meal is also green! Picture plenty of broccoli, brussel sprouts and spinach. The gravy was green! The Other One is of course a different thing all together... She hires an event company to stage manage her home ("money is no object dahlings") and throws a serious party that most of the town is invited to. She had to hire a planner after the year when she purchased the entire stock of the local bottle store, but forgot to order any hor d'oeuvres! It took the phrase "liquid diet" to a whole new level and although most of us still can't remember a damn thing after the first hour or so, we have it on good authority from the local police that it was a party for the record books!

So... what is Christmas in our home? That has changed over the years as I think many traditions must. As a kid, I remember my Gran baking mince pies with fruit mince that she had made herself and bottled months before. Those are still the best mince pies in the world, though it's been many many years since I've had them. There was a flurry of baking as the season began with my Mom making literally (and I do mean LITERALLY) a 100 dozen biscuits of different types. I don't remember them lasting long, but I do remember our kitchen filled with the reassuring smell of warm cookie dough, with counters covered in trays holding biscuits in various stages of production. As a child, that kind of kitchen co-ordination is truly magical and watching simple things like eggs, flour, sugar and butter turning into mouthwatering delights, was the first time I realised that you don't need to buy the things you love to eat! Then, for a day or two before the big Christmas Lunch, my Dad (who always has and always will do all the cooking) prepared and cooked the various meats ... sometimes turkey, or goose or duck or chicken, but always tongue. Which I never eat. In fact, the Other One is noticeably paler at the thought. Miss Twinset doesn't eat it either... as she said, you never know what butt that tongue last licked. I know they wash it, but she has a point :-) He loves it though and I love him, so the rule is that he's welcome to it as long as he cleans the pot and keeps it separate from what I eat :-)

It's important to note that down here in the South of Africa in the grand old Town of Cape, that Christmas takes place in the middle of Summer... in the hottest time of the year. This doesn't exactly lend itself to a full roast with six (6) vegetables as you can imagine. However, this is what we did for years as most of my family is of English descent. It was traditional and something to look forward to and looking back, it amuses me how much food we cooked, as dinner plates are only 'so' big and simply can't hold much food. I'm sure it's the same in many of your homes too. Of course, as I said, traditions change and adapt, re-inventing themselves into fresh versions as needed, until we come to the Christmas meals of today - my adulthood. My Dad still cooks a tongue (gulp), a corned beef and a ham, but we eat them cold on the day with a selection of salads and garlic bread (oh so traditional huh)... sometimes there's a braai (bbq) as well, which is how we know it's a South African Christmas. Totally foreign to most of the Northern World as they roast chestnuts on open fires, but perfectly logical to those of us in the South :-) It's also a great excuse for cold beer :-) HA! From the look on the Tipsy Tart's faces, beer is something they won't touch... so I've finally found booze that's safe! Success!!

Some things remain unchanged though... although the mantle has fallen on my shoulders. It's now me who bakes a range of biscuits (several dozen dozen!) and of course, the Christmas cake, which is served with brandy butter (home made of course). The only thing I've yet to nail is the mince pies, but I suspect that the secret was in the mince that my Gran made... unfortunately, it's something she never wrote down and I've trawled through all her recipe books! Hmmm. Guess I'll have to experiment until I come up with a recipe that rocks and becomes a family tradition from here on out!

I suppose that's the secret of it all... We all have Christmas traditions, but they all started somewhere, so if you want to change something or introduce something new... go for it. Take the leap!

Until next time...

I Can Make A Rainbow!

'Tis the Season... Summer has returned and with it... the Salad Season. We all know it's true. All through Winter, during those pleasant months when we've been hidden under sweaters and large coats, we've feasted on stews, guzzled gallons of hot chocolate and eaten packets of biscuits. If you haven't, then you've got a level of super human self control that really doesn't make you popular with the average woman. In order to preserve my friendship with the Tipsy Tarts, I have refused to discuss this with them, after the Other One admitted to actually losing weight over Winter! Hmph. I'm going to try to get her hooked on those chocolate cream martini's... that ought to solve that weightloss problem :-) *insert evil chuckle here*

Anyway - back to Salad Season. As I was saying, we eat loads of things that we really probably shouldn't, then 1 month before the official start of Summer, all the fashion magazines (read "devices to torture ordinary women into hating themselves") publish issues with loud headlines proclaiming new ways to be "beach ready" in just 3 weeks... Now let's be honest ladies... there are 2 kinds of women in the world. Those that ARE and those that ARE NOT beach ready a month before Summer. Those are further split into women who DO and DO NOT care about their bodies and if they are comfortable in their own skins, then they generally have no issue with being in a swimsuit anyway and no 3 week starvation diet makes any difference to them. Rendering the magazine gloriously redundant! There is another thing that starts to happen about a month before the official start of Summer and that is that every site, magazine and newspaper starts to run articles on best salad recipes, best ingredients, best dressings etc. I cannot disagree though, because after a season of heavy Winter foods, there is nothing yummier than a crisp, fresh salad. Yes, with a drink :-) I swear, these two share a one track mind! Ok, a jug of sangria, some cold meats and salad and an evening in the garden is hard to beat. Especially as Phin has taken such good care of my garden and it's looking awesome. But I hear you asking what this has got to do with colours and using them... ?

Well, let me elaborate... think about things like fish & chips... chicken nuggets... burgers.... steak.... stews. Well, quite often during Winter (and indeed all year round) our plates will present themselves in very boring shades of beige and brown. Especially for people who rely too much on fast food and supermarket take-aways. That boring state of plate leads to almost complete culinary complacency (which I wouldn't suggest you try to say too fast if you've had a few)! We often slip into a state of disinterest with our meals... they become almost a chore... largely due to the fact that they bore us. Bore our eyes, our palates and our imagination. Pardon? No... I didn't miss-spell "plates". Our palates are our tastebuds. Shall we continue?

Ok, so back to the new colour that Salad Season brings into our lives. It's hard to have a boring plate when you have green lettuce, red tomatoes, dark green cucumber, black olives, white feta cheese, peppers, avo, etc, etc... whatever you want in a salad really! Just looking at the plate will make you feel better. Yes, I promise. No - this isn't colour therapy 101... it's just a reality of life. The flavours are clean, natural, fresh and totally delicious and your tastebuds are going to wake up and do the can-can with delight as you munch your way through the meal. No, they're not going to flash their knickers at people... as far as I'm aware, my tastebuds don't wear knickers. NO! They're not perverted or nudists... they're tastebuds! Oh dear. I can see you're in that state of mind this evening. I'm going to walk away until you're done giggling....

Ok, so a salad as a meal may not be everyone's cup of tea. I can see José in particular shaking his head outside the window and mumbling something about goats... or rabbits... But I promise you ----> Real Men Eat Salad! Stop laughing, I'm being serious! Ok, they're not likely to order themselves a salad for lunch or dinner, but a salad with a meal is likely to go down a treat (especially as more and more men are trying to get "beach ready in just 3 weeks"). It's here that you can make a salad to tempt your man... You can add things like smoked chicken, tuna, biltong (beef jerky), boiled eggs, 3 kinds of cheese, spicy peppers... whatever floats your (and his) boat!

However, I think you'll find that once the colour revolution hits you, it's hard to keep it contained to just one meal or part of your menu... You'll find yourself adding more veggies to your meals and looking for the ones that are the nicest to look at. You'll also mix and match your colours, so corn, broccoli and carrots with those chops instead of just chips. You see you eat with your eyes first and when a meal is really fun to look at, your brain automatically assumes that it's going to be just as much fun to eat! You'll be in a good mood before you've even had any of the health benefits of eating better. And really - I have to tell you - a healthy state of mind is a large part of a healthy state of living. Probably a big reason why those two can lead reasonably productive...? No, that's not it. Active? Nope. Vertical? Yeah, vertical will do. That's probably why those two can lead reasonably vertical lives considering how much booze they have each day... it's a healthy state of mind. Hee hee. Some foods (like Miss Twinset's favourite - beetroot) are fun all the way through your system, but I'm not going into more detail. You either know or you don't :-)

I'm nothing if not fair though... a new outlook on colour in your diet needn't be limited to your main meals. After all, there is more to life than just lunch or dinner... there is also tea and dessert :-) It's just as important to have something appealing to look at for these treats as it is to have something yummy for your meal. You should savour the experience of eating them - especially as you shouldn't eat them too often if you'd like to have that "perfect beach bod". I like to have food that looks good, making my meals an occasion, all year round. It's something that I've been trying to inspire in Miss Twinset and the Other One, but since one cooks very little and one has a professional chef, it's hard to tell how I'm doing on that front. I'm sure that Ruby appreciates my efforts though and I know Phin loves the fresh goods I'm growing in the garden :-)

So, here is the challenge to all of you. Be it your lunchtime sandwich or your spag bol dinner... find a way to bring colour into your meals. You'll feel better mentally and also physically as we benefit from all the good that a varied and healthy diet brings us.

So... I can make a rainbow... and so can YOU!

Until next time!

In Praise of Braise!

Those of you who have visited regularly are probably aware that while the Other One doesn't know her Aga from her elbow, Miss Twinset is relatively comfortable in the kitchen. She has her standard dishes that she's actually quite good at and since we started with this blogenture, she's been branching out. A little. I pushed her with the new recipe and she's been following my instructions for approaching new dishes, although I haven't actually witnessed her doing it recently... I think the Other One is a bad example. I'm not saying that having staff is a bad thing, but when you lead the kitchen capable off the straight and narrow into the marshy and uncharted land of the "ladies who lush", we're going to have words!



So on the day of the Grand Event - more generally known as "my Mom's birthday lunch", she showed up in the kitchen in a powder blue twinset, the obligatory pears, white gloves and a matching cream apron with blue frill. Miss Twinset, not my Mom. My Mom wouldn't be caught dead in either a kitchen or a twinset lol. She can cook, but why should she with my Dad and I around? Anyway, Miss Twinset was something to behold. Not sure if it was a good look or not, but it was better than the housedress she had on the other day... at any rate, she said that she was ready to help and I never look a gift horse in the mouth :-) The meal that my Mom had requested (the one that was soooo not a surprise) was her favourite.... Braised Steak with baby potatoes, peas, cauliflower brocolli with cheese sauce and oven baked butternut. There was a request for caramel carrots, but thankfully the carrots never arrived as I had run out of pots and stove space by then... Don't get me wrong, the carrots were invited and would have been welcomed at the meal, but as there was no space, it was rather fortunate that they were a bit late and never made it to my parents car. Tardy but tasty... Your typical carrot :-) But I digress...



So, when you're braising steak, you're going to need - rather unsurprisingly - some steak. In this case, tenderised steak. You slice this into smaller serving sized pieces and spice them with barbeque seasoning and loads of black pepper (freshy ground of course). In a heavy pot, one that can go into the oven, so no plastic handles please, you need to heat up your oil and then you fry the pieces of steak until they are very brown. Here is where my dastardly plan came into action. You see, the steak is best when it's just this side of burning, but since it's in my nature not to burn my food, I have to watch the pot and make myself leave the meat in the oil until past when my brain is screaming "take it out". Miss Twinset on the other hand is a world champion at saving food from disaster "just this side" of burning, so putting her in charge was the perfect solution. Of course, she thought it was me giving her some responsibility and who was I to disillusion her? *Shrug* Ok, so you've browned your meat and in the bottom of the pot are burnt on bits of meat and spice. Don't panic... they're meant to be there. In fact, if you don't have that, then you probably did it wrong :-) Into this, you're going to put around 6 large chopped onions (depending on how many you're cooking for after all) and while you're cooking these, you'll find that they pick up all those delicious burnt bits and go a glorious brown colour. This is important because it is a great base for the flavour of this dish.




Naturally, as you can imagine, I couldn't trust the Other One to do anything more challenging than sitting quietly - and even that is a stretch for her at times. Aah. I hear you... yes, you at the back trying to look invisible. You wondered why I didn't put her in charge of drinks? Have you just arrived? I wanted to actually HAVE some drinks for the Grand Event, not just get high off of her breath :-) I tried asking her to help with the vegetables, but she looked appalled that I would even suggest that she do any actual "labour". "Dahling... really? You are so funny" Huh. I was aiming for desperately busy, but apparently I came across as calm and humourous. Oh well. So, when you've poured another martini (for yourself) and passed another bottle of vodka to the Other One, you need to check on your onions. When they are softened a little, you can tip the meat and all the juice in the dish from the cooked meat, into the onions and stir well. To this you need to add enough beef stock to cover all the contents of the pot and stir again. I also add some beef gravy powder and brown onion gravy mix just to make the sauce rich and brown and extra tasty. I have to warn you that if you're watching your salt intake, you'll find that you've had the annual recommended intake of the Pitcairn Islands in this dish, but it's too good to refuse :-) From here on out it gets really easy... put it into a preheated oven at around 180 deg C until the meat is soft (about 2 hours or you can cook it at 200 deg C if you're in a hurry).



Now... you'll probably have about 1 - 1 1/2 hours until you need to start cooking the vegetables. For me, this time was spent on the Pavlova as discussed on Tuesday. You may use the time as you see fit. See... aren't I nice? Ok, so assuming we live in TV land ...



1 hour 20 mins later



... the braised steak is now nearly ready. What you need to do now is start on your veg. The baby potatoes are put into a larger pot and covered with water. They need to boil until soft and should be put on to cook first. The peas are quick and easy, so you can do them last... simply pour into pot, add a small amount of water, some salt and boil. *cough* Yes, as it happens I have heard that joke. What? You want me to tell them? I'm sure they've heard it too... oh, alright. My apologies ladies and gentlemen, but the Other One won't be quiet until I ask you if you know what 2 things you can eat, but not do? ~~~ peanuts and pea soup ~~~ sigh :-) The broccoli and cauliflour is also put into a pot with a 1/4 cup of water and boiled. Now please... to all of you who boil your veg to death - and you know who you are - you do NOT need to cover your vegetables in water to cook them. I promise that a small amount of water will suffice as the steam will also cook the veg. The benefit is that you don't cook all the nutrients out of your food and it's still colourful and tasty at the end of the process. If you're doing a Sunday roast, the small amount of fluid that you have in your veggie pots can be used to add to the gravy. Back to my vegetables... the only other thing that had to be done was the butternut. The trick here is to buy a butternut that is generally all one size (in otherwords, no bulb shape on one end). If you do this, then your butternut is unlikely to have a large seed area and it will give you several decent butternut discs for your guests. You decide how thick you'd like the butternut discs, then place a small knob of butter underneath the butternut and place it in a pyrex dish. Put another small blob of butter on the top and sprinkle with brown sugar and a small dash of cinnamon. Cover with tinfoil and then put it into the oven around 40 minutes before you want to eat (it can go in with your pot of braised steak if your oven is large enough). As for the cheese sauce... well, I can make it from scratch, but they make so many powdered sauces that rock and with all the work I'd already put into this meal, there was no need to kill myself :-) Yes - a cheat is allowed from time to time :-)



It's important that you keep the Tipsy Tarts entertained while all this is going on. Something that is usually a challenge, but Miss Twinset was so pleased that she'd been able to help, that she skipped off grinning like a loon to go re-do her hair and wasn't seen again that day. The Other One was slurping happily on her martini (a new concoction involving dark chocolate, vodka and strawberry coulis) and since she seemed to be over her "no carb, no salt, no sugar, no point in living" diet - which lasted about 4 hours (or until she discovered that booze contained both carbs and sugar and was therefore a no-no) I handed her the white chocolate ganache bowl to lick out and she was ecstatic - and on a bit of a sugar rush - so all was well :-)



My Mom and Dad had arrived earlier in the day as expected and had been keeping themselves occupied while I finished the meal and by the time I was ready to dish, my Mom was hovering in the kitchen like a kid on Christmas morning, clutching her plate eagerly as I added finishing touches to this and to that. The Tipsy Tarts hadn't been too thrilled at being told that they couldn't stay for the party, but this devine dish was for family only - as it should be for a birthday :-) She was so content when she sat down with her meal that if she'd been a cat, she'd've be purrrrrrrrrring. In fact, this ------------------------> is what the meal looked like. Steak, potatoes, peas (her absolute favourite veg), cauliflower, broccoli and butternut. I have to confess, that even though I made it myself, the meal was A+ and was a perfect additional gift from me to her. The fun part is going to be waiting to see what my folks pick for their Anniversary lunch in Dec. Since they have to work together on this, it could get very interesting, but I think we all know by now that I'm a girl who's up for a challenge :-)



Until next time.....

The Yolk's on Us...

or is it?

Yeah - you heard me right... You see, we're constantly being told by supermarkets and marketing guru's that we need to buy the products that we like or need. It's seen as somehow a little "wrong" to make your own anything... I mean, how would you react if a friend said she was making her own clothes? Your first thought (if she's not a fashion major) will be to wonder if she's running low on money. Don't shake your head... some part of you knows it's true. The Other One is a prime example... if they package it in something "shiny or sparkly", then she's likely to buy it even if it's something she doesn't need or will never use - her whole kitchen being a prime example! I think the oven still has "new appliance" smell. The only thing worn in is the coffee machine and only because her wonderful housekeeper used to be a barista and mornings are 'lean under ' times (she doesn't like the term hangover) where coffee is a MUST. Right after that she moves onto hair of the dog. The whole dog.


Miss Twinset is another one... She has certain products and brand names that she simple "can't live without" and if I even suggest that she try making some of her kitchen favourites for herself...? Well, the reaction is not very ladylike. The funny part of it all is that there are some things that sound difficult, but once you've tried making them for yourself, you'll discover that they're not only easy, but so delicious that you'll simply keep making them... much to the annoyance of all those advertising and marketing people :-) and the absolute delight of your wallet and budget!!


I promised you yesterday that I would tell you what to do with your leftover egg yolks from the Pavlova and there are 2 delicious and useful things that you can make with reasonable ease while your Pavlova meringue's are baking. I'm afraid that you can't keep the yolks for long or they go... "icky". So, let's start with something that's an English teatime favourite... Lemon Curd!


You'll need 4 egg yolks, 180ml of sugar, pinch of salt, 80ml of lemon juice, 4 tbl spoons of butter and 2 tbl spoons of lemon zest. You beat the egg yolks and sugar together in a pan and when it's well mixed, you add the butter, salt and lemon juice. So far, so easy. Here comes the only really tricky part... you need to STIR IT constantly while it's on a medium heat. The only way you get out of this is if you can either convince a Tipsy Tart or bribe Ruby into doing it for you... The chances of those aren't good, so you're stuck with plan A! Now, bear in mind that you don't want to boil the mix or you're going to end up with the weirdest, lemon flavoured scrambled eggs ever. I've never had it happen, but I can imagine it won't be pretty :-) When the mixture has thickened enough to coat the back of a wooden spoon (about 6 - 10 min or so), you need to pour it through a sieve so that any accidental "scrambled" bits are left behind. You now have a dark yellow, smooth, lemony curd. To this, you're going to add the 2 tbl spoons of lemon rind and then you can put it in a jar for later.


Lemon curd is pricey in the stores and it's so simple to make (and far tastier) that you'll never be held to ransom by the supermarket over this again. You can use this as a base for lemon meringue tartlets or even for lemon bars. It's also great on toast or crumpets or..... most things :-)


The other basic - and definitely far more common - kitchen item that you are probably paying a lot for is an item that seems to trouble even the most kitchen savvy girl :-) Mayonnaise! Yeah ... you heard me. We're going to make mayonnaise! It always sounds soooo impressive when people say that they make their own. I've been to a number of dinners where the hostess has humbly presented us with a bowl of mayo to accompany this dish or that and when asked which brand it is... she's tittered prettily behind her napkin and confessed to making it herself... usually with one of those "oh this old stuff" expressions on her face. You're usually left feeling like you should be humble in the face of her sacrifice... after all, you are her guest and she thought you were so special that she slaved away making you mayonnaise. It's a condiment that means something. Take a breath here.... it's MAYO :-) Yes, the recipe can be intimidating, but actually it wasn't that bad. Shall we begin?


Well, for this recipe, you'll need egg yolks, salt, pepper, white wine vinegar and oil... lots of oil. This certainly isn't

your diet friendly condiment, but if you're going to be having it anyway, you may as well know exactly what is in it. You start by putting your egg yolks, salt, pepper into a bowl and beating this on a medium speed until it is thick, pale and fluffy. When this has happened, you need to slowly add about 120ml of the oil in a very thin stream until this is all incorporated into the egg mix. This may require some co-ordination if - like me - you're using a hand-held beater. Then add the vinegar and beat again. From here on out, you're going to add the rest of the oil (about 380ml of it) slowly into the mix in a thin stream, making sure not to let it split on you. When you're done, you'll have a bowl of very thick mayonnaise :-) Ok, so I made this recipe over the weekend, but to be honest... it was just a lot of work for me with the electric hand beater :-) So... what's a resourceful girl to do? Google! And there it was... the holy grail of home mayonnaise making adventures. Mayo in Minutes :-)


This recipe differed in a few ways... it was 2 egg yolks, 1 tbl spoon of white wine vinegar, 1 tbl spoon of lemon juice, 3/4 of a tsp of salt, 1/8 of a tsp of sugar, 1 tsp of Dijon mustard, 1 cup of vegetable oil and 1/2 cup of olive oil. I'm a complete heathen and simply can't stand the taste of olive oil (I'll wait until you've all recovered from the shock and horror of it all)... So what did I do? I just used 1 1/2 cups of veg oil and it turned out great. What makes this recipe my new favourite discovery is the fact that you put ALL the ingredients into a narrow container which is just large enough to hold one of those stick blenders. I used a jar :-) You put all the ingredients into the jar (starting with the egg yolk and ending with the oil), wait for the egg to settle and then insert the stick blender. Pulse gently and slowly with the blender and you'll be able to watch magic happen... the kind you don't need a pixie for! UM... Even though we LOVE having you around Ruby :-) As the mix turns to mayo at the bottom of the jar, you'll be able to get more energetic with the stick blender and within moments, you have a jar full of mayonnaise... For those of us living in SA, it tastes a lot like the imported Hellman's Regular Mayo which is quite pricey... This recipe will set you back around R8 or about $1.20!


So... I now even have Miss Twinset's attention. She loves saving money in her grocery budget - gives her more money to spend on shoes or twinsets or pearls or wine :-) The other one didn't know there was egg in her mayo, so that little revelation was amusing, but even she was impressed. So... are you going to be brave enough to try it? After all, not only did we just not waste the egg yolks from the meringue, but we also showed producers that the yolk's not on us anymore :-)


Until next time...

Ova the Pavlova?

NEVER!!!

You may be wondering why I found myself making Pavlova. The truth of the matter is this... it was recently my Mom's birthday and since I started a new tradition this year of allowing each person to pick their meal for celebrations, I knew that I had some cooking and baking in my future. So, a few days before the Grand Event, I cornered her and asked her to make her selection. Ok, it's not quite as "last meal" as it all sounds. I promise. I was fairly certain what her lunch selection would be, but her dessert selection was another matter entirely. I had a suspicion, but with my Mom, you can never be to sure. Although - as it turned out - I was right! You see, my Mom loves a good Pavlova. Hell, she loves just about ANY Pavlova, so it wasn't long before I had my orders for both lunch and dessert and the date for the festivities was set for Sunday (not the birthday day, but since when have we ever been normal that way). White chocolate and strawberry Pavlova it was :-)

Now. I know that a Pavlova sounds intimidating, but that is NO excuse for buying the ready made bases. Yes, I have done so in the past, but really - those things look like they're carved out of Styrofoam and can probably be used as ceiling tiles. I can promise that if you've ever tried your own Pavlova, you'll pass those sad, sorry "meringue's" in the shop and turn your face away, shaking your head at their weak attempt to impersonate real food. All you need is eggs, castor sugar, white wine vinegar (not your usual chip shop white... focus), vanilla essence (or extract if you'd prefer) and corn starch. To be honest, you don't actually need the whole egg... just the whites, but since they don't lay them separate, you'll need to make do. This particular recipe called for 8 egg whites and 500ml of castor sugar, but it did make 2 layers, so not too bad all things considered.

The first thing you have to do is separate the eggs. Not into "colour shades" as Miss Twinset was so patiently doing when I caught her. Sigh. I'm pretty sure she'd had a few bottles of vino by then, especially as she didn't notice when I topped her glass up with the vinegar! I need to make sure we do new projects earlier in the day to avoid these situations. Now, please don't worry if you don't have one of those "fancy" egg separators. Eggs have an innovative built in system commonly known as "the shell" to aid you in just this type of situation. You simply need to break the egg roughly in the middle and then pass the yolk back and forth from shell half to shell half until all the white has dropped into the bowl that you (hopefully, please lord) put underneath. You then tip the white into your mixing bowl and put the egg yolks into another bowl for use in other projects... don't worry - I'll elaborate in the next blogs. You then beat the egg whites until soft peaks form when you lift the beaters out of the mix. Soft peak? Well - imagine that you've only partially arous... What? Family friendly. Oh... yeah. Well, a soft peak would be ... um ... soft? No edges? Ok, it just means that it's going to be a bit like a squishy cloud. When you take the beaters out of the mix, the peaks that form will sorta "smoosh" (another technical term) over on themselves while still looking kinda like peaks. I suppose you could say that soft peaks are the average 40+ year old boob without surgical intervention...

At that stage, you need to start adding the castor sugar 1 tablespoon at a time. Which I'll admit is a pain in the butt!! Especially if you don't have one of those sexy kenwood mixers (which I'd be happy to test for anyone who'd like to send me one hint hint... all brands welcome) and you have to use a hand mixer. It requires a little patience, upper arm strength and co-ordination, but if you've worked with the Tipsy Tarts (I'm liking that group name more and more) around for long enough, then you've developed the reflexes of a cat and the strength of Hercules... sometimes it's the only way to protect booze and food that's intended for consumption at other places :-) When the mixture has reached stiff peak stage (18 - 25 year old boob), then you fold in the white wine vinegar, corn starch and vanilla essence using a metal spoon (I'm not sure why, but I don't argue with the recipe Gods when they're that specific) - before spooning it onto your baking sheet on your baking tray and shaping it to suit your needs. You can create fun detailing on the final Pavlova by taking the back of the spoon and touching it to the Pavlova to make wave peaks (no boob related metaphor here as I don't want to picture wavy boobs). You put it into the oven at 140 degrees for an hour and then turn the oven off and leave it in there overnight. Yes - you DO need to be prepared ahead of time! lol

The following day - in my case, the morning of the Grand Event - you get your serving platter and place your base on

it. I made a double layer Pavlova (no, I'm not showing off... as I said, I just had that much meringue mix lol). You then take your desired filling and begin constructing this yummy dessert... In this case, it was a white chocolate and strawberry filling, so I melted white chocolate in the microwave (about 2 - 3 min on 60% power) and added fresh cream to that to form a white chocolate ganache which was then spread on the Pavlova base to stop the fluid from making the meringue go soft. The remainder of the cream is whipped to just before a stiff peak (there's that term again) stage. To assemble, spoon your chopped strawberries onto the ganache base and pile them as high as desired. Then cover with the whipped cream and then - if required - add the second layer of meringue and repeat the above steps. It's important that you don't let Miss Twinset or the Other One anywhere near this process or you'll end up with an Eton-Mess... just as yummy, but nowhere near as impressive on the table! I've been lucky so far and only had this problem once. Fortunately I was only practicing, so it wasn't a train smash :-)

You may be wondering why - when there is a whole lunch that was done - I've chosen to start with dessert. Well, too often, we start with the meal and skip dessert and if you're only going to read today's blog... I figured it should be a little decadent!

Tomorrow, I'll cover the meal and if you stick around, I'll cover what to do with those 8 egg yolks too... after all, my Gran didn't waste and neither do I :-)

Until next time....

It's Beginning to Smell A Lot Like....

CHRISTMAS!!!

No, before you all phone the medics in a panic, I haven't totally lost the plot. Nor did I hit my head and no - before someone asks - I haven't been at that mystery punch that Miss Twinset and the Other One regularly cook up. I've seen it glowing eerily in the pantry and I don't drink potentially sentient life forms! In fact, I strongly suspect that following a nuclear explosion, we'd be left with dayglo cockroaches, the mystery punch and those two in the corner. After all, if they can drink it and survive, there's a good chance they're bomb proof! Actually, there is at least one other thing that will be around long after mankind has ceased to exist... fruit cake. Don't ask me why it never goes off... after all, that's why they invented Google! I'm also not sure why the universe decided to make fruit cake almost indestructible because I can tell you that it's a rare thing if they last past a few days in this house!

Ok - so it's October. I'm aware of that. I'm also aware that popular legend suggests that you bake your Christmas cakes and puddings round about now so that they have sufficient time to "age" well and by "age" I mean "absorb substantial quantities of brandy". However, this particular recipe tastes just as fabulous even if you make it Dec 24th, so I'm not going to spin you that yarn. However, I will point out - and not only because the Other One is waving her hands frantically to get my attention - that it does leave you less time to get loads of brandy into the cake. And brandy is important! I cheat by soaking my cherries in brandy all year round :-) Sneaky! Also quite tasty when you just want to eat one :-)

Ok, so you start be measuring out all the fruit and nuts and putting them into a bowl with the brandy and soaking them overnight. This is where you ideally need a kitchen free of Tipsy Tarts (sorry, couldn't resist) as I caught Miss Twinset with her head in the fridge debating turning my cake fruit into some seriously flammable breakfast muesli!! While I don't think it was an entirely bad idea, some of us have real jobs too and showing up soused and claiming it was the cereal that did it, probably wouldn't go down well! So, when you're ready to begin, you need to take 4 heaped tablespoons of flour and stir that into the fruit mix. This will coat the fruit and stop it from doing it's best "rock" impression! Sigh... Miss Twinset is frowning. It's hard to ignore because she looks like a confused kitten, but still... It means that it will stop the fruit from sinking straight to the bottom of the cake. The flour on the fruit helps it to "float" in the cake mix and that keeps it evenly distributed. In another dish, mix the flour, cinnamon, all spice, cloves, salt and bicarbonate of soda so that it's ready when you need it. In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter, then mix in the brown sugar and eggs. Um... I know that cream comes before butter (although I'm a tad surprised that the Other One, a woman with a Swarovski manicure, has any idea about churning butter or anything to do with milk products). It means to beat the butter until it is light and fluffy. It can be done by hand, but seriously... seriously? That's why there are electric beaters!


In a jug, mix black treacle and apple juice. It's a bit like trying to combine tar and water at first and this part I do with a hand whisk. Then the trick is to mix alternate dry and wet ingredients into the butter, egg and sugar mix. I see Rolling Stones lips and tongue in that treacle pattern, but that could just be Ruby's sense of humour :-) When you've mixed everything together except for the fruit, you'll be left with a strange, wet mixture that looks like it's about to split. No (chuckle), not run away. Split back into it's separate ingredients. Don't worry, it's supposed to be that way. Yes, I'm serious... it really is supposed to look kinda like curdled ... um... cow production :-) At this point, you're ready to add the fruit and fold it into the mix.

If you're really well organised, then you probably lined and greased your baking dish of choice before you even weighed out the butter, but to be honest, I forgot. It's not serious though as the batter can stand for a bit while you catch up. Just don't let the Other One anywhere near the spray-and-cook though... it's great for greasing the baking dish and also (I've just discovered) for turning an innocent kitchen stool into a health hazard for Miss Twinset. Turns out that she isn't quite as graceful as the Other One when it comes to holding onto a drink when she's slipping and sliding... but at least it was only a little white wine and she was wearing a housedress today (with pearls... of course), so all is well. I think we'll even get over the shock of the housedress... with therapy! :-) So - when you have your cake tin / Pyrex dish / tuna tins (I'll explain later) greased, lined and ready, simply pour the cake batter into them and pop them into your pre-heated oven and bake for 3 - 3 1/2 hours or until a skewer stuck into the middle of the cake comes out clean. Obviously the smaller cakes will take less time, so keep an eye on them. After all, it's bad enough they can last indefinitely without turning them into a prime example of dwarf bread... If you're not a Discworld fan, my apologies, but it's a reference that would take too long to explain :-)

Now comes the tricky part... even trickier than keeping the location of my brandy supply a secret from the Tipsy Tarts... keeping the cake around for longer than a day or two with my folks around! The cake is moist, rich and totally yummy (another technical cheffy term). We find that it's best served un-iced with brandy butter, but really... it's so good just as it is, that you'd better get in there before it's all gone.

I know that many people don't like fruit cake and I'm pleased to tell you that it's not a requirement for enjoying the Festive Season. And yes, I haven't forgotten that it's still a while until the Festive Season. I baked for my Mom (who bats her eyelashes beautifully when she wants something) and also for one of my best friends who was visiting from Europe. Her cake is tucked away in her luggage, soon to tease some lonely sniffer dog at an airport far, far away ... :-) Hmm? What? Oh... the tuna tin reference from earlier? Well, small baking tins are quite expensive, but a washed, lined tuna tin is the perfect size for making small "gift" cakes and it's also a great way to recycle. Please - just wash them properly, after all, there is nothing worse than tuna flavoured fruit cake :-) Euuuuuuwww

So, I guess I should probably tackle my Christmas Cards next huh? Hmm... maybe, but first... I think it's time for some cake :-)

Until next time...

Let's Get Cracking...

...with those eggs! No, this isn't the first exciting round of "Is it an omelet, is it a glaze, is it a fried egg sandwich?" It is in fact one of the steps in today's "Dish of the Day", but more on that later. I'd like to start by thanking both Ruby and Phin for behaving the past two weeks... I've not lost, misplaced or been unable to find a single thing in the kitchen and in the garden, my tomatoes and broad beans are yielding crops... which makes me hippity-hop-happy!! José was still hunting for the toothpick... I tried tactfully suggesting that he get another one, but actually he claimed it was too soon to replace it. He was prepared to try something new though and is now happily ruminating on a piece of straw. Hey, if it works for him, who am I to argue?

So, it's been a while since I entertained you in the kitchen... hell, it's been a while since I entertained myself in the kitchen, so it was high time and with friends visiting from Germany, the stage was set for something special! I just wasn't sure what or when... and then it happened! We planned a large braai (or bbq for those of you not from SA) and while the men took care of the meat, I was asked to take care of dessert. No problem (insert evil chuckle here)... leave it to me! But what was I going to make? A great question and the answer is one that I think will surprise you as much as it delighted both Miss Twinset and the Other One :-) Brandy Pudding! Also known as Tipsy Tart if you prefer. Considering the usual state of my kitchen companions, I'll give you a moment to consider the implications of selecting that title before I continue... Got it? Done giggling? Good, then let's continue.

This recipe is actually quite simple and really delicious. As with so many of my recipes, this isn't an original. I'm quite capable of inventing a new dish, but with the old favourites, many recipes are similar and it would be difficult to eat the dish and "divine" what the ingredients are... after all, it's not as if I'm an idiot savant when I come to recipes...

(swoooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh. C R A S H).

My apologies for the break in our blog ladies and gentleman. I felt the need to stop and throw a bottle of wine across the room at the Other One. You'll be distressed to hear that it was a really good wine. I was pleased to see that although it didn't score a direct hit, it did hit the wall next to hear and she has just had a free Merlot rinse. All over her recently done hair. And white Valentino Dress (this season)! Why? Well, she had the cheek to chirp that I was only half wrong... drop the 'savant'. Hmph.

Ok, so back to the Dish of the Day... Brandy Pudding :-)

The first thing I should tell you is that this particular recipe claims that it makes enough for 12 - 16 portions. It probably does if you're having dainty, ladylike portions that would be applicable at a nice Southern afternoon tea. However, most people will have a larger portion and we've found that this generally serves around 10 very "unhealthy" sized portions... ideally with custard, ice-cream, cream (or all of the above). It's dessert after all. With booze in it!

Ingredients

- 250 gram dates, stoned and chopped
- 1 cup boiling water
- 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
- 1/2 cup (125 gram) butter
- 1 cup (200 gram) soft brown sugar
- 2 large eggs, beaten
- 2 cups (240 gram) flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon ginger
- Pinch nutmeg
- Zest of 2 oranges
- 1 cup (100 gram) walnuts or pecan nuts (chopped)

Syrup
- 1 1/4 cup (300 ml) soft brown sugar
- 1 tablespoon (15 ml) butter
- 3/4 cup (190 ml) water
- 1 cinnamon quill
- 2 teaspoons (10 ml) vanilla essence
- Pinch of salt
-1/2 cup (125 ml) brandy

Method
- Pour the boiling water over the chopped dates in a saucepan or microwave dish.
- Heat to boiling point.
- Remove from heat and mix bicarbonate of soda into mixture. Mix well and leave to cool.
- Cream the butter and sugar, beat egg in to make a smooth mixture.
- Sift flour, baking powder and salt over the creamed mixture and fold in.
- Mix in the spices and the nuts, stir in the bicarbonate of soda and date mixture and mix well.
- Ladle into a baking dish. Use a dish with a base that measures approximately 280mm x 280mm.
- Bake at 180°C for 40 - 50 minutes or until the puddings springs back when pressed at the centre.

** Prepare the syrup while the pudding is baking.
- Heat the butter or margarine, sugar and water for approximately 5 minutes.
- Remove the mixture from the stove and stir in the brandy, vanilla and salt.
- Pour the warm syrup over the pudding as soon as it is removed from the oven.

Now... if you're an observant bunny (and I know that you all are), you will have noticed that I don't have my full range of photographs. There is a perfectly logical reason for this. The batteries died on my camera. Yes - I'm aware of the fact that I should have had a spare set. However, my spare set of batteries are currently on a permanent relocation to Denmark. You see, they were unfortunate enough to witness something that they shouldn't have and were whisked away in an unmarked black van in the dead of night, never to be seen again. They've been given new identities as lipstick tubes and currently reside in a small, nearly unheard of Danish town... leaving me a set short. You think I jest? Well - you're only half right. You see they really are in Denmark, having been left there accidentally by a travel companion last year (along with his charger and a pair of shoes). It was traumatic and I don't want to talk about it :-) Kidding! Ok, ok, I know that I've had plenty of time to buy new ones, but I just haven't ... yet. I swear, I will do it now as I don't want to get caught short again! In case you were wondering, the picture of the completed pudding is off of my cell phone and is a great example of "here's one I made earlier"... from June! It's how the pudding looked though, so I don't think you'll mind.

I wish you could hear the sniffling and sobbing from the corner of the kitchen. The Other One is of course nearly paralytic about the damage to her Valentino dress, but is slightly mollified by the remarkable fact that she can duck and weave like an extra from the Matrix and not spill a single drop of her martini... really, how does she do that? Miss Twinset is sniffling due to the loss of the wine. She was looking forward to that bottle and it was all I could do to stop her licking the walls!! I poured her a glass of the Buketrabe. She's not really into semi-sweet wines, but at this point, she's not proud, she's desperate and if it has an alcohol content, then she's game to try anything. There was an incident once with a packet of wine gums on a road trip... but that's a story for a different day!

Until next time...

No Way José!

As regular readers will know, this blog isn't purely about food and cooking, although I write about it a lot... and as you can no doubt gather, it would be fair to say that I enjoy food AND cooking. If I were a pixie, I'd be ground staff as I'm fairly sure that there are no wings available to lift this love of food off the ground :-) Ok. I'm not that large. I'm more towards the comfortably padded (Nigella) end of the scale (without the serious boobs... and yes, I CAN say boobs. It's my blog. So there!)


Although I intend to introduce many other skills that we shouldn't be losing as generations slip by, today I'm going to tell you a bit about my garden. There are two reasons for that. The first is that it's Spring here and the garden is full of new secrets and fresh colours and the second reason - but by no means a deciding reason - is the fact that Miss Twinset and the Other One are pixie hunting in the kitchen. They've decided that Ruby is to blame for the rapidly diminishing alcohol stores and no amount of explaining that even if she was helping herself, it would be a teaspoon full at most makes any difference. They are totally convinced that somewhere in my kitchen is an extremely sloshed (and slooshy) pixie who possibly resembles a rather ripe tomato rather than a svelte fairy, due to the numerous bottles of booze that she's liberated from the store cupboard. Of course, their search is being conducted with all the precision of a blind tattoo artist and it certainly doesn't help that their "field rations" for the day consisted of a case of wine, 2 bottles of vodka, 3 limes and a bucket of ice! So... I've run away to the garden.



Now there are a few reasons why being in the garden is therapeutic... for a photographer like me, it affords me plenty of opportunity to just play and be creative! However, as I've said before, I'm not a particularly talented gardener. It would be fair to say that I could kill gravel!! I'm the only person I know who has managed to annihilate not one, but TWO cacti in the past few months. I'm not quite sure how... It's a talent I tell you! However, I really love gardening and the satisfaction of seeing something grow and thrive. Don't look shocked... it happens. Generally when I mostly let nature take its course :-) The only part I don't enjoy as much is when José - the garden boy - taunts my lack of knowledge and skills. Considering he spends all his time leaning on a large garden fork with a tooth pic hanging off of his lip, he doesn't really have the right to an opinion. After all, I've yet to see him have a go at anything useful. It's always... "you're planting that there?" or "if you think that's best" or "and you thought it would grow (snort)"... but so much as ask him to pull a weed and he comes over all "Yo no hablo Inglés" Hmph!! He would like to point out though that he is Spanish and not South American. I think he's neither, being rather freckly and with red hair, but I'll take his word for it!



The other thing about my garden is of course that the undesirables - slugs, snails, caterpillars, weeds - all seem to find it a highly desirable and seemingly safe haven! In fact, I've no sooner rid a section of garden of some of them, then a fresh colony pops up. I swear they've mastered transporter technology and if we could listen in, we'd hear them hailing ships on all frequencies and declaring my garden a habitable area with great air and rich soil deposits. It can't help that I've planted a rich assortment of snacks for the landing parties now can it... ? No. However, I'm fighting back and perhaps... if I'm lucky... I may get a few beans and tomatoes for myself :-) Now... it's not only about flowers or vegetables or fruit. It's about ALL of them in equal measure.

You see, our ancestors (no... not 1000's of years ago... maybe just 3 or 4 generations ago) grew a lot of their own food to suit their needs. Carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, whatever... Of course, they also kept chickens, geese, goats a pig or two and perhaps a cow. We've already covered the likelihood of me keeping a cow in suburbia, but to be fair... the keeping of fowl (birds, not something bad... although a large amount of chicken poo certainly IS foul) is governed by local law. Even if it weren't... I have 7 cats and I'm against cruelty to animals. The cats, not the chickens. Imagine being able to see and smell your toy / snack and not be able to reach it? Torture! Ok... it won't be much fun for the chickens either... I'm getting off track though. My latest obsession for my garden is fruit trees. I already have an orange tree, lemon tree and naartjie tree, but I've since added an apricot tree, a pear tree, a plum tree and a nectarine tree. Now. You may be thinking back to my earlier statement about being talented enough to kill gravel and wondering how I manage to keep my garden growing at all...? If you've been keeping up, you'll know that I have a theory... and it's a doozy!

I suspect that it's a green thumb that's behind it all. Yup - a green thumb! Or thumbelina. Well, that sure got José's attention... his arm slid right off the top of that large garden fork right before his jaw thudded into it! I think he even dropped his tooth pic :-) You see, I don't have enough time to really devote to planting and maintaining my garden and yet it seems to do ok... even thrive! The only explanation that makes any sense to me - even though it is totally illogical to most - is that there exists a sub-culture of garden pixies. Cousins of our dear Ruby if you will. Their sole task is to look after the gardens of enthusiastic gardeners and to reward them with flowers, trees, fruit and veg at the end of it all. Green thumbs and thumbelina's :-) They're assisted by garden gnomes, of course, who generally take guarding duty, but I think mine must sleep all day while invaders sneak past them :-)

I've never been lucky enough to see my thumbelina - and yes, I feel very sure it's a girl who runs my garden - or her band of merry henchmen. Perhaps if I had some of the "breakfast punch" that the Other One makes on a Sunday, I'd be fortunate enough to catch a glimpse... after all, she sees a LOT of stuff that isn't there. Worth a thought. However, I've spent many hours photographing my garden and often photographed her assistants as you can see here. During these hours in the garden, while I fumble my way through gardening 101, I've thought a bit about my thumbelina and I've decided that she wears a pale petal dress in a fetching lilac shade in Summer and Spring and a sturdy, furry seed pod coat in Autumn and Winter. Her name? Ah José, excellent question. I had thought to call her Rose as it is my favourite flower, but I could picture her turning her little freckled nose up at such a predictable name for a garden sprite. Instead, I decided she was more likely a Delphinium (largely because it's said to mean Big-hearted, fun). Of course, Delphinium is a rather long and stuffy name, so I'm sure she prefers to be known as Phin :-)

And now... while José scrabbles about looking for his lost tooth pic, I think I had better go and see what remains of my kitchen. I saw the Other One going in the back door with a hammer minutes ago and I can't have that!

Until next time...

Do You Believe...

....in Fairies? Or to be more precise (just for the purposes of this discussion)... in Pixies? You're looking a little confused and that's understandable. You thought the blog was about restoring the skills lost between our Grandparent's generation and ours... You're not wrong. No... I haven't been smoking the origanum (oregano) again (it was one time and to be fair, the Other one was smoking it and I took it off her in disgust... she thought it was pot. I did not. I only took a drag to see if it was really making purple bunnies come out of the ceiling tiles. For the record... it didn't and it was really unpleasant.) In fairness though, there were some pretty cool Fairies in the time of our Granny & Grandpa. And I'm not just talking about the closet queers of stage and screen... So, back to the fairies with the wings... you're still not so sure? Check these out... The Cottingley Fairies... They were very famous back in 1917...! Ok, so now that we've established that fairies are a part of the "Just Like My Gran"... can we continue? Thank you.



Ok, so whether you believe in fairies, pixies, gremlins, ghosts etc or not, at one time or another we've all blamed something from that list for something... "The email gremlins must've stolen the attachment"... "The fairies must've done it"... etc :-) Well, I have another one to add to the list. The Kitchen Pixie! Who scoffed? Come on... own up. I heard you... Was it you? No matter. The kitchen pixie is very real. And I can prove it! I've established this theory after many hours of deep contemplation and much investigation and there simply is no answer that fits better than a small, quick witted vixen in a Swarovski studded ruby gown who dwells in your kitchen and ... "does" stuff.

"Like what?" our beloved Miss Twinset asks. As well she might. Here it is. My Theory. The Kitchen Pixie... hereafter known as "Ruby".... is responsible for many of the almost unnoticed things that happen in our kitchens every day. The missing lid to your favourite Tupperware? She hid it. The plate on the stove that mysteriously stayed too hot and burnt that dish? She wiggled the switch. The loaf of bread that wasn't sealed and went stale? Yup, that was her too! Now... it's not all bad. In fact, it's more good than bad. You see, she has a wicked sense of humour and the pranks are just to keep you in line.

She's also largely responsible for the strange and inexplicable good stuff too! Examples? Well, you know that silver serving spoon that you've hunted everywhere for? The one that's well and truly gone and might have been pinched by your dotty Aunt Gertrude? Well, it's Murphy's Law that when you open the silverware drawer to prove that it's gone... there it will be, glinting happily at you from the top of the pile. You stare at it in disbelief while the family member shrugs and puts it down to your failing memory. If you listen closely at that point, you'll hear the tinkling bell laughter of the little minx as she darts out of view... ! Her favourite trick though is car keys! No matter where you leave them in the house (even the freezer... don't ask, it was a long day), she'll find them and return them to where you thought you left them, hours after you looked there (twice). It's enough to drive you mad, but it's all in a days work for her!

In fairness, while she may move the whisk totally out of reach so that the sauce curdles, she's equally likely to find that missing recipe card and slip it under a magnet on the fridge (where you definitely wouldn't have put it yourself). She's actually an asset to the kitchen and her favourite thing is to watch you while you work and she's happiest while she's plotting her next escapade or surfing on sunbeams! Now, as she is the "kitchen pixie", you may wonder if she's any good at cooking. Truth is... from what I can gather... no. She's really good at eating though... as evidenced by that last cookie or slice of pie that simply disappeared from the fridge! And no... I didn't eat them! Hmph!

The trick to keeping your resident Kitchen Pixie happy is this... Provide plenty of yummy dishes for her to nibble off of. Leave the odd sparkly thing in the kitchen for her to play with (and keep) and always have something shiny (pot, spoon, bowl of water) for her to examine herself in. Oh... and don't take the pranks too personally! What happens if she's unhappy? You won't like it! I don't take any chances.... no, not even in the interests of providing a comprehensive blog on the subject. Ruby's here and I'm going to keep her happy!

So - all of you out there. Keep your eyes open and you may just catch a glimpse of a misplaced sparkle as it passes or hear a distant giggle... or find that missing pyrex dish :-) Proof that you may well have your own kitchen pixie. In the meantime... I'm going to stock up on sparkly things and see if I can't invite mine to participate more in this blog...

Until next time....