Dear Dairy...

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways....  OK, not really, but I really love dairy.  I mean, is there anything nicer than a tall glass of ice cold milk?  I drink one as often as I can (not very grown up, but hey... it goes well with cookies) and of course I've used milk in desserts and in savoury dishes.  Dairy is in a remarkable number of things, in a variety of forms!  I believe I've mentioned my love of cheese before   :-)  After let's be serious here for a moment, there are few things that can't be improved by adding cheese, in some form or another.  Hell, they even made an entire cake devoted to cheese!  OK, they don't just plonk a pound of cheddar into a cake tin, but what you need to remember is that cheese doesn't need to be in an orangey coloured block.  OK, it comes in a creamy colour too. But you know what I mean.  Cream cheese, cottage cheese, mozzarella, ricotta... they're all cheese.  And they're used to enhance thousands of dishes.  So... I decided to try a skill that my Gran definitely had and recycle some milk into some ricotta cheese.

*Crash*

Hold on... I just need to pick up what's left of a wine glass.  Apparently Miss Twinset was totally unaware that you could make your own cheese!  No, it doesn't just "poof" into existence in the supermarket.  How did you think it got there?  The Amish?  You thought the Amish made all the cheese in the world?  Oh Saints preserve us...

OK.  I'm back with you.  I've given her a plastic beaker (in case) and filled it to the brim with wine and that should keep her busy for a while.  Where was I?  Oh yes, my Gran and the milk.  Yes, our ancestors were the ultimate in recyclers.  Where you and I would open a bottle of milk and - upon whiff of sour - dump it, they saw the opportunity to turn it into something else.  I remember that she would have muslin / cheese cloth handy and sour milk would miraculously go into the cloth and be hung above the sink off of the tap... and then "voila".  I was quite young at the time, so I'm a little vague on the details, but I remember thinking it was magic.

And in a way... it is!

So a week ago, I came across a simple recipe for making your own home-made ricotta cheese.  It sounded simple, idiot proof and like something that I could manage as a first foray into making my own cheese (and yes, I intend to try other kinds of cheese!).  It was so simple that it only needed 4 ingredients and 5 steps.  Trust me... this stuff is DELICIOUS and once you've done this, you won't buy ricotta in a store again!

This recipe makes about 1.5 - 2 cups of ricotta, so just adjust it as you need OK?

Ingredients:

1 litre of full cream milk
250ml of cream
1/2 teaspoon of salt flakes
75ml of lemon juice

Method

• Put the milk, cream and salt into a pot and heat.  Remember to stir continuously so that the milk doesn't burn on the bottom of the pot.  Don't be in too much of a hurry, as the higher the temperature, the more likely you are to burn the milk.
• As soon as the milk comes to the boil, add the lemon juice and turn the heat right down.
• Simmer gently for about 2 minutes and then remove the pot from the heat.

• Leave the mix to sit for about 20 - 30 minutes and then pour it into the muslin / cheese cloth lined sieve (or colander).
• Leave the mix to drain for about an hour and then store in a Tupperware in the fridge. Use within 2 - 3 days.

Before you panic... when you add the lemon juice it WILL look like vomit.  You haven't done anything wrong.  It's supposed to look like that.  Yes - it's not pretty... but it will all work out in the end :-)  I swear.

I had mine with honey on a cracker and it was delicious.  Soft, creamy and decadent.  In fairness, I could've used a little more salt in mine, but it's to taste and this was great.  It was really empowering to know that the next time my milk is starting to turn... I don't need to waste it.  Even though this recipe artificially sours the milk... you get the general idea :-)

I didn't tell the Other One that I made this myself and she raved about it.  She had hers with a bit of salmon, spring onion and just a touch of black pepper on itty bitty slices of toast and was absolutely stunned when I told her that I made it.  Yes, the cheese, not just the toast.  She knocked back her vodka and for a moment I thought she'd be mad (heaven knows she loves anything made by a famous chef and she eats for free in my kitchen often enough, but she assumes that I buy everything I combine and prepare), but she was surprisingly calm.  Asked for a refill and then asked if there was any more.  High praise indeed!

So... I have taken the first step towards "cheese maker".  Next step a goat... just kidding!!

Until next time...

May You Live in Pinteresting Times

The Lament of the Blogger

I used to be a blogger,

'til Pinterest stole my life.

Thank heavens I'm not a girlfriend,

a Mother or a Wife!

For though it's bad to neglect you,

I'm sure you'll understand.

But if I had a family,

This would be quite out of hand!

So for now I will amuse you,

With this pic I found today.

 And work on blogging tomorrow,

When I have far more to say!

If I were a Thin Girl...

I will never be a thin girl.  I should know... I've tried.  Well... I have!  I know my limits, so there've been no Atkins or South Beach diets in this house.  Although, I did seriously consider the chocolate diet in my teens.  Come now, you remember this one?  It was a glorious time when fad diets and eating plans reigned supreme.  In this particular case, the idea was to eat 200g of chocolate each day, but ONLY this.  Yes, you'd lose weight, but the first slice of bread or scrap of potato was guaranteed to balloon you back to your pre-fad weight as your body rejoiced in the sight of real food.  Other variants included eating only 6 apples a day and 1 that was only oranges.  They didn't stand a chance around me.

You see - if you haven't figured it out by now - I LOVE food.  Not all food, 'cos I'm not really fond of fish amongst other things, but essentially, I love food! However, while fad or restrictive diets weren't going to fare well around me, there was a certain logic to adopting a healthier eating plan.  "This isn't a diet," I told my brain.  "It's not?" it questioned.  "No," I replied, "it's simply a way for me to ensure that I get all my food groups in."  Neither my brain or my body was fooled.  After all, no-one stops eating bread, rice, potato and pasta simply to eat "better".  After all, cake is a food group and so is toast... right? 

So the first time I tried this, it was highly restrictive and hard to do and made me totally miserable.  Needless to say, I didn't stick with it for as long as I should've.  It worked, but if I so much as looked at a forbidden food I seemed to gain weight.  Sigh.  Fast forward a few years and countless baking projects later and - well, you get the idea :-) So now we're giving this another go.  Just as healthy, but not as restrictive.  Still no bread, but at least there's some pasta and potato :-)  (Trust me, it's the small things in life)  The aim is to get healthy, but also to lose weight.  And this is where the realisation has hit that I will most likely never be a thin girl... After all, what would it say to you if your body actively rebelled against the new plan?

In fairness, some of this fat has been with me for more than 20 years and it was unlikely to just "give up and move out".  I mean, I've managed to shift some, but I think it just moved around my body in search of better scenery :-)  However, for all the fact that I appear to be stuck with the weight, at least the food is a bit more exciting.  Proof that eating correctly doesn't have to be boring as hell :-)

Take this as an example....  One of my meal options is pork and veg and I decided to try it as mince.  This is what I came up with.

Ingredients

180g Pork Mince
2 courgettes
1/2 medium onion or 1 small onion
8 - 10 mushrooms finely diced
seasoning (salt, pepper, soya sauce, garlic, etc - to your taste)
1 egg
1/4 cup cornflake crumbs
Tomato sauce (to taste)

Method

Finely dice the onion and mushrooms and grate the courgette.  Then add the mince, crumbs, seasoning, tomato sauce and about 1/2 the egg (beaten).  This is where it's going to get a bit sticky and dirty... you need to mix this with your hands!  Yes - with your hands!  You'll know when it's right 'cos it'll all be evenly mixed.

Now at this point, you can do a few things with the mix.  You can either make meat balls or like me, you can make it as a 'loaf'.  This is actually a single serving on the eating plan (I know, right?)  I press it into a small disposable dish and pour the remaining beaten egg over the top.  Then bake uncovered at 180 deg C for about an hour or until it's done the way you want it :-)

This is such a yummy way to get your meat and veg in in one go :-)  It would also be a great way to get kids to eat their veg - and yes, I know that it's wrong to hide them from your kids, but it's far more important that they eat them!

The Tipsy Tarts say that I'm no fun at the moment, but I think that's because I'm not baking at the moment, which means that there are no fun carbs for them to "pooh-pooh" at and secretly eat.  It could also be because I'm not up for a boozy lunch which starts at dawn and ends when one of them passes out.  Usually sometime close to dawn the next day lol.  I'm trying to figure out what the big deal is. After all, Miss Twinset still eats whatever she wants and I caught her lounging - yes lounging - on her new chaise with a box of bonbons the other day.  She tried to hide them behind her back when I stuck my head around her door, but her fear of dropping them and messing up her carpets overrode her desire to have the box behind her back.  I patiently explained that this is for me and that she can do what she wants.  After all, she actually - gulp - exercises.  The Other One seems to exist on food scents and pure alcohol as I've never really seen her over-indulge in anything that can physically be eaten.  You couldn't get her to eat a peanut butter cup, but you could get her to drink a 20 000 calorie peanut butter smoothie if you added some booze!

At any rate, it's time to go and make another cup of coffee to combat the desire to inhale chocolate.

Until next time...

The Fridge Diaries!

Oh, what a sad, sad day! My beloved fridge has passed on to that great appliance utopia in the sky. I like to picture it up there catching up with old washer and dryers and indeed all other former appliances that have been a part of our homes over the years.

It was such a great fridge, perfectly set out with fridge compartment above and freezer below and so large and spacious inside that you felt almost petty for wishing that you could just fit one more thing in there, especially as it was already full to the brim.

Now, for many of you this sense of sadness and loss will seem odd and misplaced, but until you have found a perfect appliance or one that at least fulfills most of your expectations, it's hard to know how you'll feel when it's gone. Miss Twinset of course couldn't see anything other than the excitement and joy of a shopping trip looming ahead of her and although her passion for the kitchen and appliances is nowhere near as well developed as mine, the opportunity to trawl the aisles in search of the perfect deal was too good to resist! The only concern that the Other One had was that it didn't contain any of her booze, 'cos heaven knows she wouldn't be able to cope with a warm white wine!

The fridge didn't always belong to us. In fact, it was adopted when we moved into the house more than a decade ago. The previous owners had had the kitchen cupboards built around the fridge and were honest enough to admit that not only could they not fit it into their new house, but that our "regular" size fridge would look hopelessly out of place in the custom size gap. Although I was initially suspicious of the secondhand nature of the fridge, I soon came to appreciate it's understated beauty and the humble way it quietly went about doing the job for which it was intended. It was also a bit like Mary Poppin's carpet bag - seeming to have an unending amount of space and a capacity for producing the strangest things if you moved bottles around and peered into the back corners. It's funny, but after I took all the magnets off, it was as if I was disowning it somehow :-)

Of course, you can't just clean the outside, you need to empty the inside. It took up almost the whole kitchen counter and as you can see... I wasn't kidding about that magic carpet bag trick! Where did all this stuff come from? lol. I had to laugh at the Other One though... She spotted "the" bottle and was horrified when I told her that it was alcohol free. I thought she was having a stroke and she did turn the nicest shade of puce.

Now, you may be wondering about the new fridge. Naturally, Miss Twinset was dying to go shopping with me, but in the end I simply told her it was a family outing and my parents and I set off with a checklist of preferred features and a list of measurements, filled with hope that we would be able to tick all the right boxes.

I have to confess that I simply adore spending time in stores that sell appliances and kitchen gadgets. The alluring gleam of new glass and chrome, of sparkling surfaces on new fridges, freezers, washers and dryers. I find myself wandering the aisles caressing them gently, examining their buttons and gidgets and gadgets and dreaming of kitchens and houses that I have yet to own where I could house them all. Sigh. Ok.... I'm more than a little weird, but in fairness, you're only as good as your equipment (and no boys, that isn't a dig at you), so it's important to have the best that you can afford!

Well, we discovered that the average fridge is TINY and that the standard size is almost 16cm narrower than our old fridge! There were some other fridges that I simply desired with a passion, but they were 6cm too wide. Oh dear! I was feeling like Goldilocks. This one was too wide, this one too tall, this one too deep, would we find one one at all? In the end though, a selection was made!! Then it was just an interminable 2 day wait for it to be delivered on Saturday.

The old fridge was taken away to start a new life as a charity donation and I bid it a slightly tearful farewell... sniff. It was like losing a friend, someone I had trusted to look after my ingredients and creations, someone who knew all the secrets of the disasters I'd hidden within or the chocolate that was always stashed in the crisper drawers instead of lettuce. It was time though. Besides, back in the kitchen, a shiny new fridge was waiting for us to get to know each other, filled with hidden compartments and funky features.

The inside is vastly smaller than the old one, but I think that we can learn to work with it. Besides, it gives me a great excuse to tell the Other One that she isn't allowed to use it as a booze storage unit!

So... raise a glass to appliances no longer with us and to getting to know new friends :-) Let's hope that there are years of cooking and baking together in our future.

Until next time...

Going Banana's!!

If your Mom is like my Mom, then at some point when you were a kid you were probably called a little monkey. Well, I think my Mom may have been on to something because I absolutely love bananas! They're so much fun and so versatile, plus, there's the fun of "unwrapping" them like a little gift from nature :-) You can deep fry them, use them as the basis of a breakfast smoothy, use them chopped in fruit salad or as the basis for one of the best desserts - a banana split! And that is barely scratching the surface!! Picture Bubba in Forrest Gump talking about shrimp and you'll get the idea :-)

As I said, I really love bana... *knock knock* Hang on... I'm not sure who that can be 'cos I'm not expecting anyone.

I'm back. It was the Other One! She had her driver knock so that she didn't have to take a risk of chipping a nail on the door handle *sigh*. Oh well, it's kinda nice to have her back. She's been a bit scarce lately, something about a private jet and a week in the Bahama's (or some such place). I confess I wasn't paying much attention when she was warbling on about it a while back. I guess I suspected that it was the booze taking her on a fantasy trip... however, she was definitely gone and now she's back looking like she spent the week being primped and primed by a Hollywood glamour squad. From the top of her artfully highlighted 'do' to her perfectly pedicured toes and the 'honey bronze' skin tone in between, she certainly looked like she'd had a good time.

I'm just a little concerned because I just overheard her telling a very envious Miss Twinset that she brought back a little Christmas booze... To the novice reader, this may seem like nothing important, but let me tell you... I'll bet her plane came back loaded to the gills with illegally imported booze! As long as she doesn't store it in my garden shed again... Anyway - I digress!! Miss Twinset has been a little miffed that she wasn't invited to go, but I've set her the task of coming up with a drink to compliment our topic of the day. Should be interesting!
So, where was I? Oh yes, I was talking about how much I love the humble banana. Now... if I'm going to be picky, there is one downside to this great fruit. It can go rotten surprisingly quickly! I can assure you that there are many old wives tales about how to stop that from happening, but I've tried a few and the only one that really works is this... buy them semi-ripe and eat them fast!!

Ok, so you bought them green and before you'd had time to blink they ended up like exhibit A to our left over here. Eeeww!! Yes, most of us know that often the skin is like this (shudder) and the inside is still fine, but I can promise you that if you had felt how squishy this banana was - gulp - you would know that the inside was definitely not for eating. I tossed it at the Other One and she caught it! I'll have to pay to dry clean her suit, but it was well worth it!

All is not lost though and I promise that you don't need to throw them away. There is an elegant and delicious solution to the problem of what to do with a squishy banana (or 3). Banana bread! It's a very easy recipe and there's a really good chance that you'll end up leaving your bananas to go a bit over ripe on purpose :-)

Ingredients

125 g Margarine
125 ml ( ½ cup) White Sugar
3 Eggs
3 Bananas
3 ml ( ½ tsp) Vanilla Essence
400 ml (1⅔ cups) Flour
Pinch of Salt
Pinch of Bicarbonate of Soda
10 ml (2 tsp) Baking Powder
45 ml (3 tbsp) Milk

Method

1. Grease a loaf tin. Cream the margarine and sugar with a wooden spoon.

2. Add the unbeaten eggs one at a time and beat thoroughly. Mash the bananas with a fork and add to the mixture with the vanilla essence.

3. Sieve the flour, salt, bicarbonate of soda and baking powder and add to the mixture with the milk. Mix well.

4. Place the mixture in the tin and bake for half an hour at 180°C. Reduce heat to 140°C and bake for a further 30–45 minutes, or until nicely browned and baked through. To test if ready, push a skewer or knitting needle into the loaf. If this comes out clean, the cake is ready. If some of the cake mixture sticks to the skewer, the cake needs more baking time.

There's something very homely about the smell of baking banana bread! Sigh :-) I add a twist to the recipe though. Just before I put the tin in the oven to bake, I cover the top of the loaf with a layer of white sugar. This melts in the oven and just adds a bit of extra crunch to the finished loaf. You can see the 'crust' in this pic. Doesn't that look good? When the loaf has cooled off, remove it from the tin and store it. Mine is wrapped in tin foil to help keep it fresh - although if I'm perfectly honest, this loaf really won't last that long.

I'm from a monkey-ish family when it comes to banana bread!



Light and fluffy and full of banana goodness!



You can eat it plain, with butter, with jam or even use it as a base for trifle rather than a plain sponge. French toast... with cheese... Sorry - I'm getting caught up :-)

As you can see, I went the extra mile during research for this blog. It's a dirty job, but one I'm happy to do for you lovely readers!

I have to say that I'm impressed with Miss Twinset. She presented us with a bottle of banoffee vodka, thereby giving us something that is not only topical, but delicious with the added benefit of using up some of the booze they have stashed all over my house! If I can get the recipe out of her, I'll share it, but for now I think it's time for me to go enjoy all the fruity goodness going on in my kitchen.

Until next time...

Can You Believe It?

Eh herm. *cough*. I'm sorry to interrupt you all, but I'm not sure that you've noticed. Well, you might've done, but those two in the corner are certainly oblivious. Yesterday (Sunday) it was 10 weeks until Christmas morning! No. I'm not kidding. Yes. I'm quite sure!

The Tipsy Tarts have been storing up anything with an alcohol content for months in preparation. That means that somewhere there is a stock of wine, vodka, brandy and sherry (and possibly even paraffin) large enough to blow a side off of my house if one of them drops an armed cigarette holder at the wrong moment. Hopefully it's at The Other One's house. Heaven knows I've hunted everywhere around here and no sign of it, so keep your fingers crossed! I asked them if they knew what the 10 week countdown meant and the nearly incomprehensible slur that I received in reply was that it meant less time to hit the liquor outlet stores. I suppose it's my own fault for asking during Happy Hour (which runs from 9am to pass out on a Sunday in case you were wondering).

Actually, what it means is that you have a list of things to do between now and then!

• NOW is the time to bake your Christmas Cakes (you'll find the recipe in a previous blog)



• Take a good look at your Christmas card list and check that you've got addresses for all those that you want to post to.



• Check with your local post office what the costs are for mailing and what the deadlines are for your overseas cards



• Decide if you'll be designing your own card or buying cards from a local store. If you are designing / making your own, you'll need to get a move on!



• Design your email cards and get them ready for sending.



• Compile a list of everyone that you intend to give a gift to and decide on a budget for each person. Remember that you don't need to give a costly gift to everyone you know and that it's also OK to set a spend limit on gifts among friends!



• Speak to your family and decide who is hosting which meals during the Festive Season and also decide who is going to cook or clean or supply alcohol.

If I think about my Grans, I realise that both of them lived through the Second World War and that is why both of them used to say that it's about the people you spend the day with and the meaning behind the gifts you give. So... if you don't have a lot of money, don't be afraid to think outside the box. Make a voucher book offering to wash a friends car or cook someone a great meal. Be creative. It's not about the dollar value... it's about the thought you put into it!

Now... I have to love and leave you because there is a suspicious looking trail of glitter in my kitchen that I simply have to sweep up. Seems as if Ruby is really looking forward to the Sparkly Season ahead! Me too :-)

Until next time...

Orange You Glad You Did?

I don't know about you, but there are days that just scream "cake" at you.  OK, if you're me, then almost every day screams "cake" at you, but we're not only talking about me now are we?  Now - if you have a decent bakery nearby - it's a simple matter of trotting down there (to burn off calories in advance) and getting a slice or 10 of whatever takes your fancy.  However, if you're not so fortunate, you may be limited to the mass produced, overly cream filled and largely tasteless options served up by the local supermarket and that simply won't do.  I've tried it.  Trust me.

So what do you do when the urge to pull a Marie Antoinette strikes so hard that you can literally feel the pounds moving in on your hips?  Why, you bake of course!  Now, now.  I can feel the vacuum as you all recoiled from your screens in horror.  It's really not as complicated as it sounds.  In fact, I may even have told you the recipe before, but just in case...

First, decide how many eggs you want to use (depending on the size of the cake)

Weigh 6 eggs 

Flour, Sugar, Butter - all the same weight as the eggs

1 teaspoon of vanilla essence
1.5 - 2 teaspoons of baking powder


Cream sugar and butter together until smooth.  Sift flour and baking powder together into a bowl. Add eggs and flour to butter and sugar mix alternating.  Add vanilla essence.


At this point in time, you could just stick this into a dish / cake tin and bake it in a 180 degree C oven for 40 - 50 min and  you'd have a delicious vanilla sponge.  If what you want is a vanilla sponge :-)  


I have to tell you that when the urge hit me a few weeks ago, the day wasn't merely screaming "cake" at me, but it was being rather specific.  Orange cake with orange butter cream frosting to be precise!  So... once you have your cake batter ready, you add the grated zest of 1 - 2 oranges (to taste) using the proper tools.  A regular grater definitely won't do!  Also add the juice from 1 of the oranges.  Once you're sure the batter tastes sufficiently orangey, then put it into the prepared dish and bake.  


Word of warning to the wise... do NOT let the Tipsy Tarts taste the batter.  You need to keep in mind that their taste buds are finely tuned to distinguish between 80% proof vodka and 100% proof jet fuel and that they will end up adding all sorts of things until they can taste it and let me assure you that cayenne pepper and garlic in cake batter is never a good idea!  Nope.  Never!


Once the cake is out of the oven and cooled down, you make your butter cream icing and add orange zest and juice as before until it is all yummy and orangey.  Ice the cake generously (or to preference) and then?  ENJOY!!  I had mine with a cup of good coffee, chilling with my feet up and a good movie.  Believe me... you won't regret taking the time to make something delicious to indulge in!
 

The Tipsy Tarts argued that while cake may have been what my day was yelling at me, "cocktails" was what theirs was yelling at them. Hardly surprising if you consider that their motto in life is "Somewhere in the world it's martini time!" 

They had taken a few shots of vanilla vodka, fresh cranberry juice and a little sparkling lemonade and served it over ice on a few curls of lemon rind.  I was a little afraid to try it while I baked, but it certainly seemed to make them very happy!  Perhaps I'll see what they cook up this weekend?

Until next time...

Just Like My Gran!

I haven't been very good about blogging over the past several months. Part of it is my own failure to just sit down and make time and part of it is the pressure I've been putting on myself to constantly write long, humourous, involved posts. However, there is something that I read the other day that was a timely reminder... You don't have to post a long post when you blog, just say something. So. Here it is. Something.

Until nex...

Ok. I'm kidding. I would never leave you with just that and even though the nature of this post will be somewhat serious, I can't seem to stop just a little light-heartedness from creeping in. I've given the ladies the night off (something I'm sure their livers will be grateful for) and asked Ruby and Phin to pop in tomorrow. You see, I want to reflect on two people that I loved greatly and who are both now gone. This is not an easy topic, but one that I want to address.

I would like to very briefly mention my two Gran's. My Ouma (my Dad's Mom) died a few years ago, but my Granny (my Mom's Mom) died only a few weeks ago and was buried this past Tuesday. I did not spend nearly enough time with the first due to the distance between her home city and ours, but the latter lived with us when I was a child. Both were amazing women who had such strength.

My Father can cook, clean & sew better than most women I know thanks to her revolutionary (for the time) ideas that my Ouma had that boys should be well prepared! It didn't hurt that she was a Nursing Sister and so was a working Mom. With 4 growing boys, she wouldn't have a lot of time to do all that was necessary, so they were taught to pitch in and help. She also worked hard to stretch tight budgets and cook creatively - something that continues to inspire our creative kitchen endeavours today!

My Mom learned all the usual skills, but the stuff that stuck was the sewing, baking, knitting and other home crafts. Her upbringing was strict and loving (same as my Dad), but she was also given some freedoms that helped to shape her life. My Gran - the woman that I knew - was shaped in part by her experiences of being in a POW camp in Indonesia during WWII. She always had a sense of economy and hated to waste food. It also made her quite practical about a lot of stuff... something that I have come to respect in later years.

It is my Granny that took the lead in inspiring this blog because I so clearly remember her cooking or baking or making jams. From fun days out picking wild blackberries to eating fresh baked apple and blackberry crumble several hours later... Well, I thought she was a magician! She also loved to knit, sew, crochet and garden. I could go on for hours and hours about them both... but I won't do that here.

Suffice it to say that I believe that the strength of your blood comes from the ingredients that go into it. It's what we get from those that came before and what we will ultimately leave for those that have yet to come. I have the most amazing parents because their parents were moulded the way they were and in turn... I am the person I am due to the lessons that I've learned.

So - to my Granny and my Ouma - thank you for being just exactly who you were and for shaping me. I am now officially no longer a grandchild as you've all passed, but there is no void... you filled it with your experience, your love, your inspiration and the children you left me who are my parents.

Until the next time I find myself Just Like My Gran...

I Feel the Need...

... the need for CHEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!

I shall start by confessing that the idea for this blog was hatched in my head yesterday morning, but now I'm not really in a cheerful and chatty mood because one of my beloved furry kitty children is missing. He didn't come home last night and based on his normal behaviour, that means that something is deeply wrong. I'm staying hopeful that he will come home, but in the meantime, you can imagine that I'm in a really heart sore state. It's times like these though that the subject of my blog can be eerily accurate.

You see, when you're sad or miserable or even just had a crappy day, there is nothing quite like a bit of comfort food and if you were raised in the Western World, a "go to" comfort food is Mac & Cheese! I mean, if you live in India, it'll most likely be something else (most likely involving curry) and in the rain forests of the Amazon it may be bat or bug, but for most of us... mac & cheese! Now, there are many perfectly good "cheats" out there... microwave meals that will get you comfort in mere minutes, but if you have the time... I highly recommend making this one from scratch. Yeah, I know... I'm confusing you all, but I said you could cheat, I didn't say you always should :-)

Now... I'm not going to tell you how to boil pasta. At least, not today. I'm fairly sure that there's an entire blog in that one! So - suffice it to say that you should boil pasta and don't underestimate things and only cook a small amount... you're going to want a second helping (and possibly a third!). So while the past is cooking you need to gather your cheeses of choice. I say "cheeses" because although this can be made with just one cheese - a strong cheddar for example - it is far more fun to play with the flavour and use more than one. I confess (reference store cupboard cooking) that I don't keep varieties of cheese in my fridge, so I bought some specially. I can't really afford some of the more exotic cheeses, but you should experiment with your favourites and try some new flavours and you could be very surprised at the result. I already had cheddar (the big red thing), so I bought some mozzarella (the pale stuff) and a teeny tiny bit of blue. It's pre-packed small like that for lunchboxes and picnics, but works just as well for only needing a tiny bit for cooking :-). NOT pictured is the cream cheese. He was particularly shy and lurked out of camera shot... mostly because he was too heavily branded to appear in the shot!

Now you start your sauce by making a basic roux. What? No. Not a baby kangaroo.... Unless you are a kangaroo yourself and are married to a kangaroo, there is no way you could make a baby kangaroo. And certainly not in your kitchen... with cheese. NO - I will NOT entertain the idea of a turkey baster.... Do you mind if I climb out of the hole of kangaroo genetics and head back to the kitchen? Oh thank you. So as I was saying... you start with a roux. This is flour and butter (or marg or oil). Melt the butter in a pot and stir in some flour until you have a thick paste. Now start adding milk to the mix until your paste has become a thick sauce. Now, you add your grated cheese while keeping the mix on a low heat and stirring continuously. I used about 200g of plain cream cheese to add some richness, about 10g of blue cheese to add a bit of tang and "lots" of cheddar and mozzarella. For the quantity I was making, I also added 1.5 - 2 teaspoons of Dijon mustard as well as black pepper and salt to taste.

By now, your pasta should be cooked (but if not, it's not serious... just wait for it to get done). Drain it and then stir the sauce into the pasta (not the other way around, just in case you have too much sauce and not enough pasta lol). Then transfer this to your ovenproof dish of choice, coat liberally with cheese and oven bake for 20 - 40 minutes or until the cheese is a bubbly golden brown.

Now - there are some fun things you can add to this dish. You can fry up some chopped up onions and bacon and mushrooms and stir that into the mix. You could add just about anything to the dish to turn it into a solid and filling meal. Personally though I think that it's good just the way it is.

Unfortunately, it was sooooo good, that it's all gone now. I had some and shared some with my folks and I have to confess that I definitely didn't make enough :-) So. As I don't have any comfort food here to see me through my worry, I'll settle instead for a cup of hot chocolate drunk next to a crackling fire!

Until next time...

Cheat 'n Eat

This isn't a commentary on diets and eating plans, nor is it a suggestion that you go out for dinner with partners other than your own... Far from it. In fact this is about it being ok to "cheat" to get to the food you want to eat :-) The idea came from Ruby, although indirectly to be honest. You see, she has this itty bitty wand with bigga lotta power and when she feels like it - which she often does - she uses her awesome powers to grant me shortcuts around the kitchen! No, unfortunately it isn't as spectacular as going to sleep with the kitchen looking like a bomb hit it and waking up to a perfect and sparkling one. What she does is make sure that stubborn, baked on food washes off quickly or she stops the oil from spattering all over the stove. Little things that make a big difference!

It got me thinking about cooking and shortcuts in the pursuit of food. Let's be honest... unless you're home like Miss Twinset or have staff like the Other One, the chances are that many of us are out at work all day and coming home hungry and hurried. Yes, I can cook a meal from scratch, but if there are shortcuts that exist... why not use them to cut down on the time it takes to get rid of the "hungry" part of my day? Before you all gasp in horror... I'm not suggesting that we live on take-away food (although there is some good stuff out there), what I'm suggesting is that we make use of all those wonderful cook-in sauces & premixed packs (you know the ones... just add 400g of chicken, some milk and an onion). Even frozen pastry or oven chips are a shortcut to getting a meal done!

You see, a real chef would tell you that you should make pastry from scratch because it's simple and it tastes better, but it also takes a while! Yes, you could peel potatoes and cut them up into chips, but that also takes time. When you need to get a hot, tasty meal on the table, there is nothing to stop you from making use of these "time saving devices". Yes - technically it's cheating - but it works!

So - thanks to a mischievous and mostly good natured red sparkly kitchen fairy - the "Cheat" is officially on the list of things TO DO!!

Until next time...

A Wonderful Winter Warmer!

It's a truth that cannot be denied... I am a Winter person! Now, I can hear many of you poo pooing the idea... (What? Of course I can say that. It's a real saying and nothing to do with something yucky and deeply personal... go back to your martini and be quiet)... where was I? Oh yes, with many of you not agreeing with me. You see, I don't like being too hot and after all, even if you're starkers, you can still be totally too hot! Not. That. I. Will. Be. Getting. Starkers. I'm sure that some well-meaning nature types may try to protect the rare albino specimen that will be my untanned self!! But enough about that. Basically, in Winter, you can always grab a warmer jumper (sweater) or sit next to a roaring fire and then there's all the yummy food and drink... like hot chocolate and mulled wine - that got the Other One's attention! Even with rain or snow, it's a far more personally comfortable time of year, but that's just me. If you're a Summer person, you'll have a whole slew of reasons why that is and that is good too. For the record... I like ice-cream in Winter 'cos it doesn't melt so fast :-)

Anyway, this wasn't just an opportunity for me to tell you dodgy personal things or my theories on weather, but actually about food. In particular, a particularly good Winter Warmer that you'll always find in our home throughout the season. Hearty Vegetable Soup! Now... there are some cooking shows that will claim that you can make this by using up whatever is in the crisper of your fridge, but I can tell you for free that I wouldn't recommend trying it with the contents of MY crisper (chocolate, garlic butter and an ostrich egg. It's a long story. No. I said no.). To be honest, I use up my veg for my meals or I freeze the extras, but if you're the kind of person (yes YOU Miss Twinset... I've seen your OCD fridge!) that regularly has these things in your fridge, you'll save yourself the step of going out to buy the ingredients (or defrosting them). For the rest of us and in particular, the Other One, we'll need to go and buy the ingredients. Now, as you can see, they don't look like much, but for those of you who know the story of "stone soup", you'll know that you can make a lot with very little. In particular, we're going to make a delicious and nutritious meal out of just the simple ingredients you see above. Yes, you could use celery instead of the celery leaves, but it's all the same in the end.

What you need to do is peel and chop all the veggies to about the same size. I'm not suggesting that you measure them and draw attention to the under-achieving bits, but as long as they're roughly the same size then it'll all cook at the same speed. Heat up a little oil in a large pot and start by frying the onion. How large? Well, my darling Miss T, that depends on how much soup you intend to make... I use a 5litre pot and make about half. Now, back to the onions. You want them to be "sweated down", but as my Dad often says... if it's brown it's ok, if it's black ... it's buggered! So preferably, before they get brown and definitely before they go black! When the onions are ready, add the carrots, potato, turnip etc and fry them up for a bit. Add the tomato towards the end of your frying period and don't worry if the veg are still crunchy. After all, it's a soup and you're going to be cooking it a bit to get all the flavour to mature (and to give the veg time to soften lol).

Now at this point, it's important for me to make sure that the Other One doesn't chuck a quart of vodka into the pot. I know that many soups and stews incorporate alcohol and I have every intention of trying a few this season, but vodka is NOT an ingredient in my veg soup... although I'm touched that she was willing to sacrifice some of her stock for my meal :-) Anyway. While the veggies have been frying, you need to prepare your stock. You can use fresh or powdered - whatever you prefer. In fact, you can choose beef stock or chicken stock or vegetable stock according to your personal taste. I use a veg stock cube infused with olive oil and black pepper and mix (roughly) as per directions. Pour this into the pot and add tomato paste which will enhance the taste and give it a great colour, along with fresh cracked black pepper, seasoned sea salt, garlic salt and any other herbs or spices that you'd like to add. Just remember that the flavour will mature as all the ingredients cook up, so don't over spice at the beginning of the cooking process! The final touch is to add the celery leaves (unless you used celery, in which case it's already in) and an ingredient that has recently been introduced to the recipe... corn! You can either cut corn off of a fresh cob or you can do like I do and buy a tin of fresh corn and chuck it in! Less clean up :-)

It's important to taste the soup regularly and add more salt or pepper if necessary and equally important to remember not to leave the soup to boil for too long. You bring it all to the boil and then turn the temperature down low and let it simmer gently for a few hours until the veg is soft and the soup is just right. You may ask what you can do while you're waiting for the soup to cook... well, with the Tipsy Tarts around, this is never a question I have to ask and I can almost guarantee it's going to involve alcohol in some form or other. In Winter, a great red wine is never far from Miss Twinset's hands, although she likes to indulge in a warming sherry (or 10). The Other One swears by her spirits (and not the ones that go bump in the night), but she's intrigued by other options like Gluhwein or Irish coffee and the only way to get her to be quiet was to promise to try them with her... so keep a look out!

Ok, so when you've staggered from the drinking side of the kitchen back to the stove and discovered that the soup is ready, dish yourself a large bowl full, grab some home-made seed loaf and curl up next to a roaring fire. Enjoy a little Winter Warming!

Until next time....

From the Heart...

Brace yourselves ladies and gents... we're about to speed right past cooking and baking, detour around gardening and head to towards another of those skills that our Grandmothers kinda took for granted... Fortunately for me, I'm not going to have to explain this one from scratch thanks to the growing popularity of scrapbooking around the world. However, the skill I'm refering to isn't scrapbooking, it's the almost forgotten art of handmade cards.


According to historical records, it's claimed that the custom of sending greeting cards can be traced back to the ancient Chinese who exchanged messages to celebrate the New Year. By 1400, Germans are known to have printed New Year's greetings and by the mid 15th century Europeans were exchanging paper greeting cards and Valentine's. Of course, all this crafty creativity was headed for some industrialisation and by the 1850s printing had made mass produced cards cheaper and easier than the traditional handmade cards. Naturally, many of our Grandmothers still took the time to make their own cards as they had learned from their own Grandmothers and their patience was rewarded when by the 1990's consumers had started to hanker for the individuality of the handmade card... and that is where we come in :-)



In fairness to many of you, the topic of this blog may well be preaching to the choir (as it were), but I'm sure you'll bear with me... after all, there are still millions and millions of people who aren't interested in paper crafts of any kind - and I'm not even including tribes in the Amazon! I've also opted not to include the Tipsy Tarts... after all, Miss Twinset would be far too intense and the Other One - well - we've seen how she is with booze, so imagine how she'd be if she discovered glue?




Now, before I chucked them out for the day (reminding them that they have homes of their own to go to), Miss Twinset pointed out that you're able to buy handmade cards in most good stationery shops now. In fact, they're often really beautiful and well made. The point though is that even if they are handmade, they're usually made in some kind of quantity, which means that they're not 1 of a kind. If you make your own, you'll have the satisfaction not only of knowing that you're giving someone a card that is 100% unique, but the recipient will have the pleasure of knowing that you took the time to make them something that you thought they would like.


Take this birthday card for example... made for my Dad's birthday last year. I used a photocopy of a picture he had from his childhood. Backed onto white card, then chocolate brown card and finally onto grey card for a layered look and decorated simply with a skeleton leaf, 2 feathers and a glass bead. Other detail was achieved using gold leaf. The card was a hit, not only because it was meaningful to him (and featured a very handsome photo OF him), but because he knew that I had taken the time design and make this just for his birthday. There is no other card like it in the world and it made me feel great that he loved it :-)




















Now, of course, it's not only birthday's which are significant or special... there are also many other high days and holidays throughout the year and two of my favourites are Mother's Day and Father's Day... The reason why I love these holiday's in particular is because they're a celebration of only Mothers and Fathers and it's a great opportunity to say thank you to them for everything that they do all through the year.

Above are the cards I made for Mother's Day and Father's Day in 2010. Both of them feature things that my parents love and although they're simply designed, they took hours to make and I have to say, making them is so much fun! In fact, these cards are part of the gift from me :-)


Of course, yesterday (Sunday) was Mother's Day and it wouldn't be the same without a card, so here's a look at this years design...



















As you can see, I even included a tag that says "I love you"... just in case she didn't know :-) A little secret is that the tiny diamante crystals on the tag are actually from a nail decorating kit :-) I'm addicted to stationery and craft supplies, but I also think out of the box and the nail decor kit actually came with 10 different miniature decorations which will work fabulously on cards... so don't be afraid to try something different!


Our Grandmothers knew how to think creatively and how to make people feel special by taking the time to do something meaningful. They also understood that they didn't have to use expensive elements to make a beautiful card, in fact they were the original recyclers! As an example, they would use pictures from cigar boxes (which were often beautifully decorated). They also used bits of lace and ribbon that were left over from their own sewing projects, as well as buttons or beads that no longer had another purpose.

It's not about the money you spend on making the card... it's about taking the time to do something special for someone you love.



So... get creative and I promise that you'll find it rewarding!



Until next time...

Eggsactly!!

Greetings to all the other home cooks out there... I have to apologise for the silence of the past while... it isn't because I don't love you or love sharing with you anymore... it's a combination of 2 things... The first is something all us Kitchen Goddesses can relate to and that is the joy of spending time trying out new recipes and playing with old favourite ones. Of course, if you're in the kitchen, then you're unlikely to be sitting behind your laptop... The other problem that I've been facing is the dreaded ailment L.O.I. You'll be scratching your head and wondering what that is... Well, let me enlighten you... it's Lack Of Internet! I've been suffering ongoing issues with my wireless connection... which makes it hard to blog regularly!

Now, I promised in our last meeting to find something (anything) for The Other One to cook... This has been a big factor behind my kitchen safari's of the past few weeks... After all, things that the average person should be able to conquer with ease would most likely be far beyond her skillset. After all, she has staff for just about everything :-) Eventually, after I had paged through recipe book after recipe book and tried more than a dozen "simple" dishes, I came to the shocking conclusion that perhaps I should start by getting her to boil water! And then... when I had reached the end of my creative rope... inspiration struck. Hard. Hard boiled that is!

The humble egg! I had considered and rejected omelette's, poached eggs, scrambled eggs and even simple fried eggs as being too advanced for our dear lady, but a boiled egg... now that should be something that she could do. Surely? I may have been over-simplifying things of course... after all, it's not that easy to boil the perfect egg. In fact, if you google "How to boil an egg", you'll find that there are 7 360 000 results. From step by step instructions to video tutorials to advice from a thousand Grandmother's kitchen lore. Everyone has tips and tricks and it's much easier if you go and find the ones that make sense to you all by yourself. It's also true that I like my eggs hard boiled, so I can generally get away with letting them boil until there is absolutely no chance of some poor innocent bit of egg having found a way to hide from the awesome power of hot water!

Now though... let me fill you in on what happened the day we decided to teach The Other One how to "Boil an Egg". The day started much like any other, but when the Tipsy Tarts arrived, I knew I was in for a challenge. Miss Twinset had broken out her favourite yellow twinset, which she says is "sunny" but I feel was coloured in by demented toddlers with a set of highlighter pens. I swear that the space station could track her without any equipment at all when she wears it! However, she had worn it in honour of the eggs, so who was I to judge. Cooking in sunglasses is always tricky though... The other one had gone to the trouble of having her favourite designer "throw" together a cooking outfit for her, with the result that she looked rather like a stylish walking check floor with a glop of raw meringue on top. Instead of the usual "chef" outfit of pants and a simple white jacket, she was wearing a layered skirt in three different size checkered patterns. Above this, was a retro 80's blouse with more shoulder shelving than the whole cast of Dynasty put together. She'd had this customised with the words "Top Chic" and secreted away in the voluminous skirt was a secret pocket for her hip flask... Of course, I took that off her as soon as I'd finished putting her through the metal detector :-). Naturally, this wasn't the end of it... perched on her head was the most rediculous Toque (chef's hat) that you've ever seen. You see... the Toque dates back to the 16th century and interestingly enough, the traditional 100 folds are supposed to represent the 100 different ways that a Chef could prepare an egg (ironic huh?). It's even been suggested that in some kitchens the different heights would show your rank in the kitchen... well, if that was the case here, then she was definitely at the top of the totem pole! Unfortunately it did look rather like some giant had dropped some whipped cream or raw meringue onto her head and there was no way to improve it, especially as it started to flop like a limp soufflé. Tipping it back at a "rakish" angle simply made her look like an inflatable nun!

Naturally, sorting out this hideous wardrobe malfunction took more time than I had allowed for the whole adventure and then there was the issue of keeping her away from the booze while the driver went back for something more suitable (and not the glitzy cocktail number that she had told him to collect. I figured that the black silk pants and white blouse that I suggested would be better. She'd be pissed (but sober), but I'd deal with that later). Miss Twinset wasn't much help. Apart from the fact that she was a walking migraine alert, she kept slipping vodka into the orange juice I'd poured for The Other One. You can picture her drinking that neat fruit juice... she thought I was trying to kill her! I don't think she'd ever had neat fruit juice before and it was certainly a revelation. Of course, I then had to wipe down the walls where she spat it out, but in a way it was worth it :-)

So... with most of a morning gone and still forced to wear my shades in the kitchen for fear of being blinded by that twinset, I was ecstatic to see the driver holding the requested items and even happier when it only took 20 minutes and the promise of 1 great martini to get her to change into them. Finally we were able to approach the stove... me resigned to the challenge, her in a state of terror! The first step of course was to select "The Egg" and I was actually quite surprised when the first thing that the Other One asked was how she would know if it was a good egg or not. I was a tad concerned that she might be wondering if it was well behaved, but she surprised me by specifying that she wanted to know if it was good to eat. This is simple... place the egg into a bowl or glass and cover it with water... if the egg floats - it's BAD! The freshest eggs will stay at the very bottom of the bowl or glass.

So... having selected 3 perfect eggs, I had her place them into a pot and take them to the sink to cover them with water. It was then that I discovered that unless it involves booze, she's a bit challenged on the multi-tasking front. 10 minutes later, having stowed the mop, retrieved the pot and successfully picked out 3 more eggs, we decided it was easier to fill a jug at the sink and carefully carry it across to the stove to avoid a repeat demonstration that gravity is still in force. There was one thing that my Gran told me always to do when boiling eggs and that is to put a large silver serving spoon into the pot along with the eggs. Apparently this is to stop them from cracking and as they so rarely do, I'm inclined to believe her. Having added the spoon, the Other One turned the plate up to the required temperature and then? We waited.

Now, there are some people who claim that there are only 4 steps to boiling the "perfect egg". It's based on careful timing... 3 minutes of boiling, followed by 8 minutes of colling in the pot (off of the heat) before being cooled with fresh, cold water and then they're ready to be peeled. It's better to leave the eggs to cool in the fridge for 30 min, but only if you're patient. This method is supposed to prevent any grey or green ring from forming around the yolk (a sure indicator that the egg has been over-boiled). Personally I couldn't care less, but I can understand that it can be visually jarring if you're serving the eggs to guests. So.. the Other One dutifully set her egg timer and released from her booze-less restrictions, she was barely getting warmed up mixing her martini when it "dinged" (the timer, not the martini shaker). Glancing at me from time to time for reasurrance, she turned off the plate and moved the pot to a cold plate and reset the timer for 8 minutes. Of course, if you don't want to worry with timers and such, you could try this gadget which will change colour to tell you if you've got a soft boiled, medium boiled or hard boiled eggs. I haven't used it yet, but sometime soon.... Anyway, Miss Twinset was most of the way through a decent dry white by now and kept chirping instructions and suggestions, but the Other One had put herself completely in my hands and ignored her. Much to the Dayglo Diva's irritation I'm sure :-)

The Other One was so very proud of her achievement and when she had drained & dried the cooled eggs, I showed her how to peel them. She was stunned and it was then that I realised that although she'd eaten eggs in many forms, she'd most likely never seen one raw. I vowed right then and there not to tell her where eggs come from just yet... After all, who WAS the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken's "bum" and think... I'll eat that? I mean... seriously? Seriously! So... I then proceeded to crack a raw egg into a dish to show her how different it is from the boiled item. It was probably best that I hadn't started with this because a dish of clear snot with a weird yellow blob in it is hardly an easy sell to someone who only sees the finished product after her chef has had his wicked way with the ingredients!

We also discovered that although she could now boil an egg for herself, she didn't particularly enjoy boiled eggs, but it was a result none-the-less and I was satisfied that should she ever find herself in the unfortunate position of being staff-less, she wouldn't totally starve. If she were sober enough to find the kitchen.... :-) Anyway, several hours and martini's later, while she clutched a boiled (unpeeled) egg in her hand, she remarked that nature had supplied us with lunch boxes. After all, it was a tough exterior protecting a meal.... And although I had had a glass of wine or 3 by then, I found that on the whole, I couldn't fault her on that.

Until next time....